Bree generally had good tastes. So a few weeks ago when I found out she had picked a restaurant for her birthday dinner, I naturally starved myself in preparation for what is normally an excellent meal. She declined to inform me what the name of the restaurant was, but hey, surprises are usually good.
And then we drive up to a vegan restaurant.
I STARVED MYSELF FOR THIS?!
My brother and I are horrified. We are carnivores through and through, capable of eating red meat every day without complaint. My parents are laughing uncontrollably and my sister has this massive poop-eating grin on her face.
The inside of a restaurant was basically what I'd imagine a hippie's dream establishment to be. Yoga in the basement, wooden tables that look secondhand, a tea bar filled with the words "energy", "spiritual", and "activate" plastered everywhere. Brian and I sat poker faced as we withstand another barrage of laughter from our Mother.
Meanwhile, a McDonald's taunts us from across the street. I know of a good sushi bar 2 blocks away, and one of the best cafes I know is literally beside us. And here I am, trapped in this nightmare.
I'm trying my best to be polite. The food isn't bad, but I wouldn't come here on my own volition. Everything tastes of nature, the earth, tree bark, grass.
And I hate it.
Brian is poking at his mac and "cheese". Yes, the cheese is in quotations because it was presented that way on the menu. No it didn't not taste like cheese, at least, not any cheese I've eaten in Canada before. I'm choking down some sort of salad? I'm not quite sure what I ordered, I picked what seemed the most edible.
My Dad is happy though. He's able to sample everything that everyone else is eating. It's difficult to find places to eat at with my Dad due to his vegetarian tastes but he's having a good time.
Damian sits across the table, slowly losing his mind.
I was going to pick up a 20 piece McNugget pack from McDonald's after dinner. But something in that vegan dinner didn't agree with my stomach. So for the rest of the evening I suffered with extreme gas. My mother claims it was all psychological.
I personally blame the vegan food.