Movember Shame

I'm certain that everyone is aware of the Movember campaign that's been going on for a number of years now. For anyone not aware, it's where men (and I guess women) don't shave to raise money and awareness for prostate cancer.

I think a lot of guys like it because it's a month where they can justify being lazy and not having to shave for a month. Then they can walk around with massive scraggly beards and not get odd or horrified looks from people in public.

But if you're like me, you can't grow facial hair. It just doesn't work. Asians are funny like that.

Baby smooth skin!

Ok, that's not entirely accurate. I can grow facial hair but never to the point where it would look respectable. All I get is this really gross looking peach fuzz or wisps of crap on my chin. My face hates the facial hair too because immediately I start getting zits around the hairs.

So the better solution is to just raze it as soon as anything pops up. Clear cut the entire area.

I mean, if I could grow an Asian beard I would totally go for it. Old Chinese people beards look hilarious.

I'd stroke that thing nonstop.

But I'd like to take the time to share with you a shaving story from a not so distant past. Back in Junior High, when I first started getting my first actual clumps of facial hair. I hated them. I had seen what teenagers looked like with their scraggly upper lip fur. You looked like a disgusting nerd that's what. And while I may have been a nerd, I was determined not to look disgusting.

I really didn't want to go around using my Dad's electrical razor, that's just weird. But my parents however were unsympathetic to my woes. They laughed when I asked for my first razor, questioning the whereabouts of my so-called "hair".

It could have been that I was just really paranoid about the hair and there wasn't much, but it didn't matter. It bothered me a lot. And so I got crafty, and a few weeks later I asked my parents for...

Wait for it.

A set of tweezers.

Yep. Parents wouldn't get me a razor so I asked for tweezers.

I literally spent years with these tweezers ripping out any and every offending follicle on my face. Of course it hurt, but it the pain was worth it so that I wouldn't look like a disgusting mess incapable of growing a proper beard. Looking back, I'm probably a lot more vain than most guys.

A lot of people questioned my ability to grow facial hair, a lot of guys seem to display theirs with pride. Not me. Eventually they assumed I was just meticulously shaving it all off, almost no one knows my tweezer secret.

Maybe if I could grow a goatee overnight I'd do it but the inbetween process is really gross.

I'd love to be able to walk around with one of these.

Many years of plucking later I finally got around to getting a razor. I can confirm it's a lot more efficient and a lot less painful.

The tweezers now sit somewhere in my bathroom unused and gathering dust. And they'll probably continue to sit like that.

Unless my razor dies or something.

Yeah, I'm going to go charge it up now.