Initial Impressions

I was never too big on the orientations during the "Week of Welcome" held at my University. I remember my first year was filled with half-hearted cheers and chants within our arbitrary groups. We toured around the campus all day as the coordinators tried to get us excited for the upcoming term.

Then the following week all the "cheer" and "enthusiasm" is gone and everyone goes their separate ways to their own classes, never to interact with each other again. You don't feel any sense of unity or pride being a student at this University. I was pretty meh about the upcoming term.

Yay.

I really didn't expect anything different for the Business orientation but I opted to go anyways. You're supposed to network as much as possible so I thought it be a good headstart for myself. Get to know a few people maybe, figure out if anything could be useful for me in the upcoming year.

The orientation certainly started out differently than I was accustomed to. I really didn't expect the Dean of Business to come in, call everyone in the room "One giant dysfunctional family", and then proceed to wear a green t-shirt over his suit.

Then he got all of us to wear our complimentary green Business t-shirts. Now we had a way to identify other Business students throughout the day. We were special, we had earned the right to wear this green t-shirt. No one else on Campus did.

Pride. Check.

The Dean wasn't the only person of interest during the opening speeches. A few people talked about the co-op program that I  recently got accepted into. I knew the general basis of what was going, I mean I got in.

The next couple of weeks for me will have a lot of seminars and workshops to help me prepare and optimize my chances of getting hired by a potential company. But I don't think I could have prepared for the stats they threw at me such as:

• Co-op students have a ~100% hire rate upon graduation.
• Co-op students earn 5-10% more than the average graduating business student.
• There is an abundance of Human Resources positions and not enough people applying to these positions (I'm a Human Resources major).

Excited for upcoming term. Check.

Next we were broken up into arbitrary groups, introductions, what's your major, blah blah, standard orientation stuff. What differs though is that immediately afterwards we started competing against other groups.

Like trying to market innocent objects as highly inappropriate adult toys for a panel of judges.

I think my group should have won, but apparently we got disqualified because we used additional props. I guess binding up one of our presenters with our belts was a bad idea.

But in this way I got to interact with other people, actually want to know their names. After the orientation I joined a random group of other business students (which I identified by their green shirts) and we went for drinks. 

Just like that, I was a part of their group and laughing like I'd known them my entire life.

Unity. Check.

If there's anything bad about this I have to re-enabled Facebook. It's the only way I can maintain this growing network of new associates and potential meet-ups, events, drinking nights, etc. etc.. in the future.

It also means no more stupid cat pictures as my profile picture. Or rather, I have to tone it down, significantly.

But it's a small price to pay. A week later I'm still greeting and spending small amounts of time with the people I met during orientation. I'm looking into joining a few clubs as well to help bolster my resume, my volunteer experience is abysmal.

Things are looking good so far, I hope it keeps up.

Back to Classes

Anyone who has followed my blog for the last few months know I've been trying to figure out whether to go back to classes in the Fall or search for work. While I had applied for the Business After-Degree program, my friends warned me that it would take until mid-August until I would get accepted or rejected. It could be wise to job hunt in the scenario where I wouldn't be going back to school.

But while I was in Vancouver, I woke up to an email on my phone, an acceptance email. Huh, while I had no idea why they had sent this to me so early I wasn't complaining.

And then I rewarded myself by sleeping in way into the afternoon.

What's nice about the After-Degree is that all my courses are laid out. Take this, take this, shove this here, no thinking needed on my part. But I'm only able to take 4 courses. A majority of the courses I need to take have this one prerequisite, that's only offered in the fall.So that's just great.

So in standard Damian fashion I arranged my schedule haphazardly and came out fine otherwise on the other end. No classes before 11, and I never stay any later than 4PM.  It'll do. I mean, I'm used to having 4 day weekends from my previous terms but it's time to stop being so spoiled.

A big reason why I wanted to get into Business was because of the Co-op program. I wasn't able to get a Psychology internship due to a certain administrator and I'm still very bitter about it. I contacted the Business people and learned that I would only have one chance to apply because I was an After-Degree student due to my credit limits, my old nemesis.

Not a problem, let's get this done, I mean when is this thing due?

Oh crap the deadline is next week.

My resume hadn't been updated in months, I wasn't confident in the structure of my cover letter, and who could I find in time to look these over to make sure things were ok? I scrambled, deleting and rewriting entire chunks. I managed to get a friend to look things over the day before I had to submit but I wasn't confident in most of it.

Fast forward two weeks, and I get another email.

Another acceptance.

Man, everything is rolling my favour this summer.

Bella, I owe you another drink, you're a life saver.

Oh and while I'm at it, I'd like to leave a few words for that Psych admin that screwed me over many years ago.

HA.

TAKE THAT.

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO AN INTERNSHIP PROGRAM ELSEWHERE WITHOUT YOU OR YOUR HELP.

JASON WAS OVER BY 15 CREDITS AND YOU STILL LET HIM IN. I WAS ONLY OVER BY 3. I HOPE YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON YOUR OWN TONGUE.

WHOOOOOOO!

Well, I haven't quite gotten an internship yet, but a series of orientations, seminars, and workshops being held in the next two weeks should help me prepare. The soonest I can get a placement is January. And one thing that they stress is that you may not get a placement within the city, I could end up going anywhere in the province.

Hence, it may be time for Damian to (temporarily) move out. Wouldn't that be nice? I mean, my sister Bree has moved out for the next 4 years. Surely as the older brother I should make an effort to leave the nest as well, even if it would only be for a year.

I have a clean slate, my old grades don't matter, it's a new year, full of opportunities, new people, and for the first time for as long as I can remember I'm looking forward to the future.

Come at me.

Saskatchewan

Ever since she was little, my sister Bree wanted to become a vet. She loved animals and when she finally got into University she started to do her pre-vet courses and worked part-time at a vet clinic. Unfortunately our University only had pre-vet courses and upon graduation she would have to travel elsewhere to complete her studies.

And that time was now as she recently got accepted into the University of Saskatchewan. She and my parents have been down there enough to find her an apartment, but as a familial gesture I thought it would be a good idea to go down there at least once to help her move in and see her off.

Who's a good big brother? I'm a good big brother.

While the apartment came partially furnished my parents were of the belief that my sister would need things like blankets, toilet paper, food, and other non-essential items to survive in her harsh new environment. We crammed the family van with as much stuff as possible and left early in the morning, it would be a long drive.

Did I mention I hate road trips? I get carsick easily, and as much as I try to sleep on these rides it's generally not very comfortable. The van was filled with boxes so I had even less leg room than normal. Also, my old nemesis of having a sore butt returned. But that's what happens when you lose 20 pounds from not working out as frequently.

Did I mention that there was nowhere in Bree's apartment complex for me to workout either? Good times.

Saskatchewan is... How do we put this... Boring. Dead. Empty. Saskatoon has less than 1/3rd the population of my hometown and I already find my city fairly devoid of life. And while I'm not satisfied with the campus of my University, a quick look at the University of Saskatchewan's campus and I felt more appreciative instantly.

At least Bree's apartment is nice enough. My parents actually straight up purchased the thing for her so that she only has to pay condo fees. Needless to say I'm a bit jealous. It has two bedrooms so she's hoping to find a roommate to rent out the spare bedroom to.

My parents have been making plenty of suggestions for me to consider working or studying at the UoS and give Bree some company. I respectfully declined.

I'm not that good of a big brother.

This also led to some interesting and uncomfortable sleeping arrangements. My parents got one bed, Bree loves sofas so she instantly opted to sleep on it, and my brother Brian and I got the other bed. Which we slept in using separate sleeping bags.

I sleep quite poorly as it is. And perhaps I've been spoiled with my King sized water bed back at home. But those few nights we slept in Bree's apartment were terrible for me. It took me hours to fall asleep, I don't think the AC was working properly, and sharing a queen sized mattress with your brother leads to space issues.

One night I actually just stood up, moved to a chair in the kitchen and slept sitting up. Another night I moved my sleeping bag and just slept on the floor. But no matter what I did I kept waking up more groggy than usual.

But we're not going to see Bree for a while and it's unlikely that she'll be in touch often due to her studies. So it was nice spending time as a family even if there wasn't much to see, do, or eat in Saskatchewan. Its become a running joke in our family to suggest that we eat Japanese food down in Saskatoon (hint, don't do it).

We'll still see her on long weekends and holidays, and she'll only be there for 4 years. Trust me, she has no intentions of staying in Saskatchewan if she can help it. If Calgary or that other school in Ontario had contacted her back, she would have went there instead. The house does feel more quiet though. Even if I spent most of my time in my room it doesn't feel right coming upstairs and not seeing my sister in the kitchen on her laptop.

And now the pressure is on me to move out too. I mean come on, I'm almost 25 and my sister left the nest before I did? Disgraceful. However, that could quickly change. I could be (temporarily) living on my own in as soon as January. But my study plans are for another blog post.

The Stalker

It was another shift of work at my part-time fast food job. I was in the front, taking orders, doing cashier stuff, etc. etc. not really paying much attention to things. I mean, it was fairly dead and was turning out to be another boring shift.

I really wish it stayed that way. Because from the corner of my eye I started noticing a customer looking at me. But it wasn't just normal looking, it was more like staring, maybe even gazing. And she had this wide grin on her face, was she laughing to herself? Is she laughing at me? What's going on here?

Perhaps it was just an anomaly. That's what I told myself. Don't make eye contact with this woman and continue on with my shift. Stay in the back as much as possible and let's pretend she just disappears. After 10 minutes I already felt very uncomfortable but it would take another half an hour until she got up from her table and left.

Finally, it's safe to go back to the frOh my god she's doing walk-bys of the restaurant.

Or is it run-bys? Doesn't matter, you guys know what I'm talking about. The woman had begun walking back and forth in the distance, hopefully staring at the restaurant (but probably at me) with that same massive grin as before.

And by now my coworkers had taken notice and were not-so-subtly laughing and doing their best to shove me to the front counter.

Needless to say, I hate my coworkers.

The "walk-bys" were happening every hour now, and had been going on since lunch. I don't know what would compel a person to stay in a mall food court for such an extended period of time but this woman was tenacious. Each time I thought she was gone for good she'd come waltzing back in the distance, grinning madly to herself, staring in my general direction.

And then she started approaching the counter.

At first, she'd just stand there, smiling that creepy smile. No she didn't want to order any more food, no we couldn't help her. She'd look at me, and then walk away. My coworkers by now were hysterical, and were physically blocking me from leaving the front counter.

Did I mention I hate these guys? I hate these guys. And in a moment, I'm about to hate them even more.

And the police will never find the bodies.

The woman continued to approach the counter, and she started buying random things in the mall to show us. I'm guessing she wanted to have some kind of a reason to come back to the restaurant other than to buy food, maybe start a conversation.

And that's what she did. Those are some lovely groceries you have there. A very nice net that you purchased at the Dollar Store. Oh you're leaving? Uh, bye. I guess. See ya.

About a year ago I wrote a post about some of my least favorite coworkers at this job. Darla happened to be working with me this evening and she was ecstatic. Over time I've come to the conclusion that Darla is possibly very stupid, incapable of following basic directions, and lacking a fundamental understanding of human social interactions.

Because she proceeded to not only converse with this creepy woman but also tell her MY NAME, tell her MY WORK SCHEDULE, and boldly announce that DAMIAN IS SINGLE.

And hey! Guess what? He's Chinese, just like you! Oh wow!

I don't even have a picture or gif to describe how furious I was. This will have to do.

But then I disappeared to Vancouver for that while. And a big part of me hoped that stalker woman would have forgotten about me. Unfortunately, it turns out that stalker woman had appeared numerous times during my vacation, sometimes even coming up to ask where I was.

Finally one shift she happened to drop by when I was working. The ritual began again, approach the counter, say nothing. Sit in the distance and stare at me. Do walk-bys of the restaurant. Everything seemed in order. I was uncomfortable, but at least nothing had escalated.

And then she came up and asked if she could see me outside of work.

I politely declined. She looked crestfallen and left shortly aftOh wait no, she's back again. Why are you doing walk-bys so close to the counter? Why are you muttering strange things to yourself? I don't go to church, why are you going to see me in church? What's going on? Someone please help.

And you're back again. What's that? You want a ride home? From me? 5 minutes from the mall? After work? Gangsters following you home you say? I, what?

I was so stunned, I fully expected her to be gone, never to be seen again. And in that confusion I actually agreed to give her that ride home. Yes, Damian pulled a stupid. How I suffer for this blog. I don't post as much as I used to but the stupid hurts so much in this story do you blame me for putting it off for so long?

She then stood by the counter for the rest of the evening. She "liked to watch me work" as she said. My other coworker Nigel cannot stop laughing and ridiculing me for my bad life choice. But he at least agreed to ride with me so that if she murdered me on the ride home someone would be able to call the police or something.

Unsurprisingly, Nigel is still very amused by the whole incident.

The ride to stalker woman's place was uneventful. And I haven't seen her since then. Will I ever see her again? Probably not, I hope not. I'm heading back to school in the fall with the great possibility of finding employment elsewhere.

But that's for a future blogpost.

Health and Body Issues

While I was in Vancouver I wasn't able to workout as much as I'd like. But on one day I managed to sneak into the nearby community center and do a chest workout. My shoulders felt odd, tight, and slightly pained but I just attributed it to taking it easy for too long.

And then when I got back to do chest day with one of my trainers I couldn't even push the bar off myself. Well, not without increased amounts of pain in both my shoulders. Something was very wrong here.

This is not how things are supposed to work.

I booked an appointment with my doctor and somehow I managed to pull some tendons in my shoulders. Maybe it was just a strenuous And I'm going to guess my workout in Vancouver just made it worse, a lot worse.

As in, I carry anything with my shoulders and I can feel the tendon flare up.

But it should be ok. I got some anti-inflammatories, I'm trying to reduce stress on my shoulders but it's been hard to not lift or use my arms. I mean, sometimes even shouldering the strap on my bag is too much.

This means nothing but core and leg day. And even then, no deadlifts, squats, planks, etc. etc. because shoulders are involved and we don't want to extend the recovery time any longer now do we?

Though I think this is kind of a rite of passage for gym goers. All of my trainers have injured themselves in some form or another. Mostly tendon related now that I think about it. At least I'm not out of commission for 3 months or a year like some of them.

Oh, and finally I got an appointment to check up with my sleep problems.

So then I can stop being like this.

It wasn't all that much. I managed to talk to another specialist and they did some breathing tests on me. All in all, I'm supposedly fairly healthy and normal looking, I just have sleep apnea for some reason.

Which means that I'm put at the end of a year long waiting list to get additional testing done. Barring that I can fork over a few thousand dollars to get the sleep study done. Which I'd rather not do, I'm in debt enough as it is.

There is an alternative though. A conversation with an old professor informed me of another sleep clinic. One that worked for her husband. And you know what, I've been through so many machines and sleep devices that I'm willing to try anything at this point.

I'll keep you guys updated.

And We're Back

It's been a while, but I'm back from Vancouver. Can I take a moment to just say how much I like that city? It's great. It's just so much more alive than anywhere in my home province. Way much more to eat, to see.

And it's almost always cloudy, overcast, or raining. As a person who hates the sun and burns fast, this is a great blessing.

It's nice not having to walk around wiping your face every other second.

But seriously, that's pretty much what Erin and I did. We'd wake up, go out and find an interesting place to have lunch, go run around the city, eat some more, return back to her place, and then pass out.

One time we went and bought a box of donuts and ate that for dinner while watching TV. This is how you know you're an adult. When you can get away with eating atrocious things for dinner and not being reprimanded.

There were a few interesting things that we tried out while in Vancouver though, asides from our rampant gluttony. On the internet, there are games known as "Escape Room" games. Basically, you are trapped in a room and you need to use tools and hints within the room to break out.

Someone made real-life versions of such scenarios and they are a lot of fun. We grabbed one of Erin's friends to do one with us and we failed miserably. As in, we couldn't get beyond the second room.

If anyone else wants to try, I suggest running down to Exit if you're down there. Let me know how well you did with Lost Ship.

Erin also tried the Laboratory scenario with her family and failed.

But now that I'm back home, I have a whole slew of stories to share with you guys. Such as my health issues and how I hurt myself, my plans for the fall, and the creepy stalker from work.

Oh, and despite all my eating in Vancouver, I somehow managed to lose 5 pounds. Yay. Go me.

On Vacation

Man, I've been bad for keeping a steady posting schedule lately and I apologize for that. Things were hectic before, during, and after the wedding. We've been having tons of dinners and outings with our new cousin and getting to know the new side of the family.

Actually, I've lost about 5 pounds simply because my eating schedule has been thrown completely out of whack. It's a bit of cognitive dissonance really because I look and I feel bigger but my scale says something completely different.

Yay.

Oh, and I'm on vacation as well if you couldn't tell by the title.

And will continue to be for another week or so. I'm back visiting my friend Erin again in Vancouver. I guess I didn't pester her enough last year so she decided to invite me back for a second round. More shopping, more eating, and more relaxing.

Though not relaxing enough to allow us to do many online activities as opposed to passing out in our respective beds.

I don't look as adorable as that.

Though this time around she had a few unexpected projects from a client pop up so I'll be left to my own devices. I'm hoping to pop by a gym and get a proper workout done. Pushups, sit-ups, and lots of walking aren't the same as doing bench presses and squats. I'd rather not lose another 5 pounds while I'm here.

An unexpected benefit of having Erin be busy is that I'm meeting some of her coworkers. If things go well I may have a job offer or two lined up for me in the future. And if not, it doesn't hurt to make a few connections while I'm in the area.

I'll see you guys when I get back.

The Wedding

I remember waking up uncomfortable and groggy on that Saturday morning. My cousin Ray was staying with me so naturally I gave him my bed to sleep in. Gracious host and what not. This left me sleeping in a sleeping bag on top of an old and hard futon that was a bit too short. The sleeping bag also smelt a bit funny but whatever, it was only going to be for a few nights.

We were uncertain what to wear. There was an initial ceremony, followed by a break, followed by some more ceremonies, and then dinner. Was it necessary to dress formally so early? Could we go more casual and then return home to change? We called one of my Uncles and he said we could go semi-casual.

So imagine our surprise when we arrive and everyone is dressed up in suits.

People say I looked furious as I searched for the Uncle.

Luckily I managed to snag a tie from said uncle. My brother and Ray managed to steal bits and pieces of clothing from other people when pictures weren't being taken so in the end it was around ok. Still, I would have preferred to be in my full suit for all these wedding photos. As I'd later learn that evening, it's kind of hard to take photos in the dark.

The reception was nice. Adam is the first of my generation to finally get married so this is kind of important. Family members all over the place crying including groom. It was kind of funny and sweet at the same time because when was the last time you saw a groom start crying as he says his vows?

Luckily, the best man had tissues ready.

I chuckled, I think we all did.

After a series of photos by the wedding photographer we had time for a quick lunch and a drive home to change. It was a pain getting there and back due to the pride parade happening nearby. Traffic was congested and things took longer than we would have liked.

Also unfortunate was the lack of drinks or refreshments while we were waiting. Well, unless you wanted to fork over several dollars for a drink. So, being the intrepid people we were, another Uncle (I have a big family) and I set off to the nearest convenience store to grab bottled water everyone.

We realized it would be kind of embarrassing, sneaking drinks into the fancy hotel that the wedding was held at. We resolved this by "sneakily" covering the case of bottled water with our suit jackets.

And then it started to rain on our way back.

I normally like rain. But not when I'm dressed all fancy.

We made it back mostly dry surprisingly. I think the dinner and the open bar were my favorite part of the whole wedding. I like fancy food, and wine, and alcohol. I wish they had more hard liquor but I made due with what I had. Asides from the best man knocking over a glass vase filled with water I think dinner went very well.

Another thing that this wedding indirectly did for me was somewhat give me hope for my own future romantic endeavors. When I was a kid I remember Adam dating someone and they were together for years before mysteriously breaking up. Then he was single for (I think) the same amount of time before meeting his to-be-wife. They married a year after they first met up, they just clicked.

I mean, he's over 30 and I just turned 24. My longest relationship was half as long as his and I haven't been single for as long either.  He's probably been turned down more than I have too and he's much more charismatic than I am.

Maybe I should be more dapper, drink more fancy alcohol. Maybe this line of thought was the alcohol talking.

But it really puts things in perspective. And it gives me hope. I'm still young, right? Well, that hasn't stopped my Grandmother from constantly nudging me and asking where my "girlfriend" is.

Happy Belated Birthday

Most people don't usually remember my birthday. A large part of it has to do with me being purposely elusive. I don't announce it, when people ask I weasel my way out of the question, and back when I had Facebook I would disable my wall so no one could comment.

But this year my birthday was additionally overshadowed by my cousin's wedding. Plus I'm getting older now so now one really makes a big deal about it anymore.

It's ok, my computer loves me.

But I got to see my cousins again and despite it being a decade since we've see one another we were laughing and joking like it was nothing. Also unexpected was that everyone noticed that I had put on muscle. Albeit they only noticed after we had hugged but hey, partial victory. Maybe the next time they see me it'll be more obvious.

I got a few gifts, and a few surprising birthday texts from other friends. Really didn't expect them to remember but I'll take what I can get. Also not sure why I got a birthday email from my bank too. That was a bit odd.

Uh, thanks?

Anyways, next post I'll talk about the wedding. For now, I'm going to find something to treat myself with. I guess that's what happens when you're an "adult", you have to buy your own gifts.

Wedding Preperations

With less than a week to go before my cousin's wedding there has been a lot of scrambling around to get things ready. And by ready I mean appear semi-presentable. Not only is this a wedding that I'm attending, but the people attending include relatives that I haven't seen in years.

And one of them just happens to be staying in my room for the duration of the wedding.

And then I realized the state that my room was in.

Yeah. My room is kind of a disaster. It never really recovers from finals and I still have papers and books lying around despite finishing a month ago. I'm kind of lazy and I made half-hearted efforts to clean the mess of notes up.

But it's not just schoolwork that's cluttering up my room, all the supplements I've been taking have also made everything excessively dusty. I took the time to clean out the fans from my computer and I smelt chocolate protein powder.

The rest of my family claims that my room smells of nothing but chocolate too. But I'd rather them not know how many buckets and jars I have so I'll keep it stashed here. The smell is a small inconvenience.

A bit of vacuuming will fix this up.

And then there's the issue of my suit. I bought a new one last year because the other one I owned I've worn since Junior High. At the time of purchase, the suit jacket was a bit baggy and the suit pants did not fit. After numerous alterations we finally got it tight enough so that I could wear it with a belt.

I tried them on last week and they don't fit anymore. Yep, the stupid thing is too tight now. I really shouldn't be surprised though, I mean, I have half a dozen pairs of jeans I can't fit into either. This is what happens when you do squats and deadlifts.

In other news, my suit jacket fits me better. I just wish my upper body growth was as noticeable. Unless you're a bodybuilder, few people are going to stare at a man's legs and go "Nice quads". No, people look and say "Nice arms/abs/pecs".

Hello there.

So the suit pants need to be tapered, let out, hopefully the tailor can get it done on time. Lastly, I needed a haircut because my head looks like an uncut lawn. It's a pain in the ass to style and I have the worst bedhead.

And as luck would have it my hair dresser has left the country on an emergency. He returns on the day after the wedding. Perfect. My options now are to try and do something with this ridiculous mop of hair OR try a hair dresser my friend recommended.

Except the last two he recommended weren't great. I mean, they did his hair nicely but for me? Ehhhh...

Maybe I should learn to cut my own hair.

So I'm still scrambling. Honestly all of us are but it's exciting at the same time. It's a wedding, I get to see people, eat good food, dress up all fancy. It should be a fun time.

And if it isn't, well, good blogging material.

Haitus Recap: Health

My health has always been a problem for me, whether it's been my lungs or my poor sleeping habits, I've never been the pinnacle of well-being. And I guess you could consider my bodytype to be unhealthy too.

I mean, when you're used to surviving off 1 meal every 24 hours, how can you expect to look?

Like so.

But things have been getting better and I'd like to attribute it to heading to the gym. For example, I've started eating breakfast again! Yes, after over half a decade of skipping this meal I've been trying to add it back to my routine.

Because is it ever hard to get enough calories in a day with just 2 meals.

Why do I skip breakfast? Easy. Because I'd rather sleep in for another half an hour than get up to eat a bowl of cereal. Though, I guess I could just grab a banana on the go and eat that but again, the laziness of older me was too much to even do that.

Vector cereal is really good though, also lots of protein.

I've also been taking this new mass gainer. For a while I was barely able to breach 160 pounds but after a few weeks on it, I easily pushed myself to 165. The biggest problem? Despite being the best tasting mass gainer I've ever been on, it still tastes kind of gross.

I mean, how can you manage to make "chocolate" taste eggy and sour? How do you manage to turn "cookies and cream" into... Well, there are cookie bits that taste like chocolate but the cream... I don't like whatever "cream" flavour this is.

Who knows what the vanilla is like. I am so sick of vanilla, never again.

My stomach cringes at the thought.

The added benefit of this mass gainer though is that when I miss one or miss a meal is that I get hungry. I haven't felt "hungry" in ages so maybe this is my body finally adapting to wanting to eat more? That's a good thing right?

My sleep schedule hasn't really improved though. I'm still tired most of the time though whether it's from poor sleep during the night or the workouts is hard to say. Fortunately I have an appointment in July where I'm going to begin the process of booking another sleep study.

Except this time I'm going to be sleeping in a lab with a ton of things hooked up to me while getting monitored.

Yay for people watching me sleep.

My lungs haven't been bothering me too much despite the increased loads I've been lifting at the gym. In fact, the only times my lung ever seem to bother me is excessive cardio. I had one temporary trainer who pushed me and I was just winded, light-headed, and actually nauseous.

No more cardio. Cardio isn't going to get me big, lifting heavy weights will.

Haitus Recap: Project Jason

Project Jason is my attempt at getting more muscle. Too long have I been a sack of organs barely held in by a thin membrane of skin. I've slowly noticed changes like my arms getting slightly bigger, clothes not fitting properly, and I say to myself, yeah, I think it's working.

And then I take a look at myself from a picture from before I started working out and THEN the differences become truly noticeable.

Those gains...

I guess it's because I see myself everyday so the changes aren't all that apparent. Hence the importance of progress pictures. I know I didn't take a picture back in August when I first started because of how embarrassed I was. But the closest thing I have is a picture from November and that was when I gained about 20 pounds.

And since November I've gained about another 15 pounds. It scares me to think of how thin I used to be. In fact, browsing various online fitness boards has lead to a startling realization. After all my hard work, I am only now considered "skinny".

Let that sink in for a moment. Almost 10 months of going to the gym has finally allowed me to be promoted to skinny.

So what was I considered before? Well, they have a lovely term for men who have noodle limbs and visible ribs: "Auschwitz mode".

Other acceptable terms include "hungry skeleton".

No matter, I'm still going to keep pushing to reach what they call "Ottermode" or the body type most associated with swimmers. For the first time ever, I'm at a healthy BMI at 165 pounds. My goal is to be around 200 pounds of muscle.

But this goal also puts me in an awkward position. Ideally, you want to be able to bench/overhead press your own body weight and squat/deadlift DOUBLE your bodyweight. Over the last few weeks I've finally been able to squat/deadlift 1 plate (45 pounds each side) and I can bench/overhead press maybe half of that.

I'm proud of myself, but I have a long way to go.

What's also funny is that I've developed somewhat noticeable pecs. And I can't stop touching them. Seriously, I'll be standing around and I'll poke them to make sure they're still there. What can I say? They're nice.

I imagine that it's similar for women when they first start developing breasts.

Ok, they're not that impressive yet, but maybe one day.

I'm still with my original trainer Eli, and things are going well. My other trainer (simply named Trainer D) finally had me lifting weight and not nitpicking over form before he disappeared. Yep. High turnover rate for trainers at that other gym.

So they slapped me with another trainer who we'll call Trainer E. He's nice, I like him but he doesn't have the technical knowledge or training that Eli or Trainer D had. I only have 2 dozen sessions left and after that, I'm just going to workout with Eli non-stop for the rest of the summer.

Haitus Recap: End of Term

Around when I disappeared back in March finals were around the corner. Normally this would be a time of stress, panic, and chaos as I scramble to deal with assignments and papers while I struggle to fit in time to study.

Not this time. I mean, firstly I only have 2 classes. Secondly, these classes don't count towards my GPA because I need to have a minimum of 3 classes a term to qualify for a full course load. So as long as I passed, that's all that mattered.

More time for League of Legends.

For those unaware, last term I was taking the last few prerequisites in an attempt to get into a Business after-degree in the following Fall semester. Economics 101 and 102 were generally dry but I was passing all my assignments and doing above class average on all the exams.

It didn't help that the assignment answers could often be found via a quick Google search, in the exact same question and answer format. I mean seriously, some of these searches yielded results as far back as 2008.

And guess what, they were almost always correct.

Finals comes along and I'm not worried at all. Well, as is my nature, I start cramming half a week in advance because I'm an idiot. You'd think with all the schooling I've had at this point I'd learn to start studying a bit earlier instead of procastinating so much.

You thought wrong.

Still, the exams went fairly well. I was particularly worried about the Econ 102 exam because I only had enough time to check over 1/3rd of my answers. Then as I was getting up I saw the girl behind me scrambling to bubble in her answers.

The student in front of me put down B for the last 30 answers.

Why.

A few weeks pass, and without a doubt I pass. Not a problem. But what's the current problem I'm having?

I won't know if I got accepted into the Business program until August.

Why?

Because the administration is lazy.

Seriously, all my friends who got in didn't get notified until August. And because they make us send in applications in March, you'd think that it wouldn't take half a year to determine if we could get in. In the administration's defense though they were getting so many applicants that they had to raise the minimum GPA from 2.1 to an astounding (wait for it)

2.3.

My GPA is above a 3.0. I think I'll be safe.

Coming out of Hiatus

After my last post about quitting Facebook I'm not sure what came over me. Maybe it wasn't just Facebook that I needed a break from, but all social media. For the first time since I started my blog, I couldn't find it in myself to keep typing. Little achievements and what not had occurred, "interesting" and "note-worthy" things came to my attention, but I stayed silent.

Or we can pretend I went temporarily blind and couldn't type.

But I'm back. Thank you to everyone who left comments wondering where I went to. It's nice to know that I was missed. It says something when more people via Blogger wonder where I went compared to Facebook. Seriously, only 2 people wondered what happened to my Facebook account.

Maybe I should have more of a presence.

Or do more horrible things.

But yes, stories. How the end of the term went, my non-stop workouts, my hunt for a job, plans for the future, and my cousin's upcoming wedding. All our family is coming to visit us and we haven't seen some of them in over a decade. This should be fun.

It's good to be back. Posting schedule is back to every third day. Can't wait to jump around and see what everyone else has been up to.

Goodbye Facebook

I've had Facebook since High school and my usage of it hasn't varied much since then. It's been hard to keep in touch with certain people so it has that use, but the main purpose that I had for Facebook was that it served as an online scrapbook, a collection of stupid, silly, and bizarre images that I've found online plastered all over the place.

I watched my "Facebook Look Back Video" to confirm this, almost a decade's worth of nonsensical pictures and news posts.

Seriously, who else would share something like this?

But the other day as I was scrolling through to see what everyone else was up to I stumbled across a picture. Or rather, a series of pictures.

Of my ex, Theresa and her current boyfriend.

I should be over her, I shouldn't care what she's up to, or who's she's seeing. I should be happy for her, and they certainly looked so happy together. Meanwhile I'm in my room, in front of my computer still single, slightly bitter, and lonely almost a year and a half since our breakup. She on the other hand is about to celebrate her one year anniversary with this guy.

But it wasn't just the pictures that I saw, there were comments too. Comments made by our mutual "friends" who took her side after our breakup and encouraged her to find someone new so quickly. "You two are so cute together!" they coo and gush.

I need new friends.

I want to say that I wasn't bothered. That I shrugged my shoulders and went on to whatever it was I was doing. But I didn't. I just sat there in my chair, not upset or angry, instead I was just kind of numb. I stared and started thinking.

I began to question why I even still kept my Facebook account. It was primarily used to communicate with Theresa and our mutual circle of "friends". But we've drifted apart either due to being busy (e.g. Theresa), or because I've made an effort to shun you (e.g. everyone else).

The rest of my friends that I actually want to talk to have other means of contacting me should they find the need. Honestly, Facebook is a major distraction and I would probably be better off without it. The world can use a break from my antics, and I need a break from them.

So I disabled my Facebook account, for better or for worse.

My reasoning may sound a bit odd, or silly, but it was enough for me. A bit of a tipping point really. Will I ever go back? Maybe. Maybe if I get super buff I'll get vain as well, post a few pictures. Or if I win the lottery, or if I become the next Youtube sensation. What I'm trying to get at is that I'm going to need a pretty big reason to rejoin Facebook.

It was pretty funny actually right before I clicked "Disable Account". Facebook makes the effort of displaying pictures of your friends who are "Going to miss you!". And right at the end of the list was a photo of Theresa.

And I started to laugh. No she won't.

No she won't.