Happy Belated Birthday

Most people don't usually remember my birthday. A large part of it has to do with me being purposely elusive. I don't announce it, when people ask I weasel my way out of the question, and back when I had Facebook I would disable my wall so no one could comment.

But this year my birthday was additionally overshadowed by my cousin's wedding. Plus I'm getting older now so now one really makes a big deal about it anymore.

It's ok, my computer loves me.

But I got to see my cousins again and despite it being a decade since we've see one another we were laughing and joking like it was nothing. Also unexpected was that everyone noticed that I had put on muscle. Albeit they only noticed after we had hugged but hey, partial victory. Maybe the next time they see me it'll be more obvious.

I got a few gifts, and a few surprising birthday texts from other friends. Really didn't expect them to remember but I'll take what I can get. Also not sure why I got a birthday email from my bank too. That was a bit odd.

Uh, thanks?

Anyways, next post I'll talk about the wedding. For now, I'm going to find something to treat myself with. I guess that's what happens when you're an "adult", you have to buy your own gifts.

Vegan Dinner Disaster

Every year around our birthdays my family takes the birthday person for dinner to a restaurant of their choice. Now you can be like me and always default to sushi, you could be like my brother and never make up his mind, or you could be like my sister, adventurous and constantly trying new places.

Bree generally had good tastes. So a few weeks ago when I found out she had picked a restaurant for her birthday dinner, I naturally starved myself in preparation for what is normally an excellent meal. She declined to inform me what the name of the restaurant was, but hey, surprises are usually good.

And then we drive up to a vegan restaurant.

I STARVED MYSELF FOR THIS?!

My brother and I are horrified. We are carnivores through and through, capable of eating red meat every day without complaint. My parents are laughing uncontrollably and my sister has this massive poop-eating grin on her face.

The inside of a restaurant was basically what I'd imagine a hippie's dream establishment to be. Yoga in the basement, wooden tables that look secondhand, a tea bar filled with the words "energy", "spiritual", and "activate" plastered everywhere. Brian and I sat poker faced as we withstand another barrage of laughter from our Mother.

Meanwhile, a McDonald's taunts us from across the street. I know of a good sushi bar 2 blocks away, and one of the best cafes I know is literally beside us. And here I am, trapped in this nightmare.

I'm trying my best to be polite. The food isn't bad, but I wouldn't come here on my own volition. Everything tastes of nature, the earth, tree bark, grass.

And I hate it.

Brian is poking at his mac and "cheese". Yes, the cheese is in quotations because it was presented that way on the menu. No it didn't not taste like cheese, at least, not any cheese I've eaten in Canada before. I'm choking down some sort of salad? I'm not quite sure what I ordered, I picked what seemed the most edible.

My Dad is happy though. He's able to sample everything that everyone else is eating. It's difficult to find places to eat at with my Dad due to his vegetarian tastes but he's having a good time.

Damian sits across the table, slowly losing his mind.

I was going to pick up a 20 piece McNugget pack from McDonald's after dinner. But something in that vegan dinner didn't agree with my stomach. So for the rest of the evening I suffered with extreme gas. My mother claims it was all psychological.

I personally blame the vegan food.

Never again.

Happy Birthday to me

It's my birthday. Yay. At the ripe age of 23 I am slowly working my way to being a full-fledged adult. Whatever that means. I expect it to be a quiet affair. Nothing fancy or loud. I know some people like going to a club, and inviting everyone they know, and the laugh and drink and post all the photos of it on Facebook.

Not for me.

 I'd rather sit at home with alcohol that isn't overpriced and judge you.

My family got me a few gifts, I might get one or two things from a few friends and that's about it. I don't have a girlfriend anymore so I don't expect anyone to make a big deal about it. Few people will remember and even fewer people will be able to remind them.

Facebook has a feature that announces your birthday to the world which I have handily disabled. However, this doesn't stop people from saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" all over your wall. So I've taken the liberty of disabling my wall for the entire 24 hour affair.

I just find the entire process incredibly insincere. You haven't said a word to me in months, maybe years, and suddenly here you are telling my to have a happy birthday and that we should be meet up (which we will never do).

I don't even know what I have you as a friend anymore.

So anyone who wants to wish me a happy birthday will have to find a different medium to do so. And I'm fine with that. It's nice to know who is actually a close friend and who is just a mere acquaintance.

I'm keeping this post short because it's my birthday. I'll see you guys later.

Happy Birthday Bree!

It was my sister's birthday today so happy birthday to her! Even though you have a tendency to take forever to get my birthday gifts. No seriously, Bree's gift for my birthday last year just arrived. Either the postal office hates her or she doesn't consider me important enough to do these things properly.

MEANWHILE, I on the other hand have her gifts ready. Well one of them is going to be late but I can't help that. Plus, at least I have some of your gifts ready weeks if not months beforehand.

I know Bree will never read this blogpost (because virtually no one I know in real life knows that I even have a blog) but I hope that somehow she feels guilt tripped. Because I'm that awesome of a brother.

That's right, I'm awesome.

I think I only have one follower who is familiar with MS Paint Adventures. So I don't expect anyone else to recognize the intentionally horrible companion webcomic: Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. I don't know how much work was put into this monstrosity to have it look so bad.

In fact, it was so bad, they released a hardcover book. Which also had a lot of work put into it to make it intentionally bad. You can purchase on Topatoco if you so desire. Which is what I did for my sister.

They even made a commercial for it:

I have no idea how they got the scratch and sniff part to work. Also, it smells disgusting.

Another thing that my sister had a fascination for were these miniature food items. They're kind of a fad in Japan I think at the moment. What you do is you take the various powders, add water, and with a little work you too can create tiny versions of real food.

Some of them actually taste like the food they're supposed to replicate (e.g. curry and rice or egg omelets) but the sushi ones I got for my sister taste pretty gross. Maybe I'll order her some of the other ones in the future.

There's a guy on Youtube who records himself making these things. Below is one of the sushi kits I got for Bree:

Last but not least, remember the high quality resin ponies I got for Theresa way back when? This time I got something for Bree. There was a fan comic of her favorite pony so there, ordered her a  custom figurine of Woona.

It's scary how popular the creator has become. If you don't order within the first 30 seconds that commissions open up, you won't get a slot. And because it takes her months to finish each set of commissions you're going to have to wait for a while.

Which is also why this is the present that Bree is going to have to wait for. Too bad. At least I gave you part of your gift on time.

 For the record, my sister has terrible taste in ponies.

So happy birthday Bree. You're getting old now, just like me.

Happy Birthday Theresa!

It's time for another post about Theresa because it is her birthday tomorrow! Happy birthday to you Darling. I know you get easily embarrassed whenever I have a post dedicated to you on my blog but you've been too busy with Med school to even read my blog so it's all good.

Yay!

I've been finding it more difficult to get her gifts as of late. Simply because I'm running out of creative ideas. I mean, I could go with the generic card, flowers, and a baked good but that's boring. Plus, she hates flowers except for lilacs. And lilacs have to be specially ordered in due to their short lifespan. I would know, I've gotten them before.

Either that or I've been duped and paid extra for nothing.

Why can't Theresa like something more generic like roses?

What I've resorted to then is custom unique gifts. I'm very fond of finding odd things online because I spend way too much time on the Internet. So when a writer on Reddit had a Kickstarter for his horror novel (Theresa loves horror novels even though it prevents her from sleeping) I immediately funded it. Penpal was successfully funded and if you want you probably could find the original story on Reddit if you don't want to buy a copy.

Theresa is also fond of My Little Pony. Now I'm not sure if anyone is aware but the toys released by Hasbro are kind of garbage. I guess it makes sense, these are for kids to throw around and get hidden under furniture and what not. Not to be put on display. So when I found someone who was making high quality resin models I jumped on as soon as possible. It was pricey, I'm not going to lie, but I think it was worth it just because it was unique.

And of course Theresa likes the nerdy one.

The last material gift I got her was a laptop cooler. Hers has been heating up nonstop and we haven't been able to play anything together lately. Well, I like to blame her laptop because blaming Med school is kind of irrational.

I'm hoping to take her somewhere nice for dinner on Saturday, but knowing her, she'll want to go grab tacos or McDonalds. Sweetheart, you're not 8 anymore, you're an adult and it's not proper to have Happy Meals on your birthday as an adult.

Oh wait, I've gotten her Happy Meals before.

. . . .

Screw it, I'll get her whatever she wants. It's her birthday, she calls the shots.

Happy Birthday to me.

It's my birthday tomorrow and I turn 22. I'm not sure if there's an significant milestone that I reach upon turning this age. If you know of any, do tell me in the comments below.

But in the meantime, I guess we should be celebrating or something?

No really, I think as I grew older I began to shy away from birthdays and all the attention that comes from it. I refuse to tell people I know in real life the actual date, and for those who do know, I am completely useless in what I want for gifts. My default responses are "Nothing" or "Get something for Theresa".

I prefer to give gifts. Receiving just feels odd. Like it's some kind of weird obligation. And this year may be my best year of avoiding people yet.

See, another thing about me is that I'm extremely difficult to buy for, mostly because I'm so unhelpful. Unless you're talk to me on a near daily basis you're not going to know what to get me or where to get it. So that's why most people will head over and ask Theresa what to get me.

But Theresa is far away in China right now. With terrible internet I might add. Sometimes I go days without hearing from her so good luck to anyone else trying to communicate with her. Oh, and with Theresa in China she can't get me anything. Really no point seeing as I'll be going in a few weeks myself.

Hahaha! I'm so clever!

Well, happy birthday to me. I'm cutting this post short because of that. I'll see you guys on Friday.