5 Year Anniversary

Well it would have been if things worked out better.

Next week I would have celebrated five years with my then-girlfriend. We were high school sweethearts and we were happy together. At least, we were until whatever it is caused her to change her mind. I'm fairly certain most of my readers are familiar with what happened to some extent. Anyone who isn't can catch up here.

And I had no intention of talking to her again. I was done trying to fix what was left.

Enough was enough

And then out of nowhere she sent me a message: "Are you still upset with me?".

Bloody right I'm still upset with you. I've been miserable these last few months, lonely, and bitter. You broke my heart, flirted with me, turned down any chance of trying to fix our relationship AND THEN you go and get yourself a new boyfriend. What did you expect me to say?

And for the next hour, I basically tore her a new one. It was liking writing an angry letter and being able to send it and watch the recipient receive it in real time. I won't lie, it felt good. A massive weight being lifted off my chest. How often do you get to rant at the very source of all your distress?

I guess the alternative would be to beat my computer to pieces.

But she never left. She could have stopped responding or reading my responses at anytime. But she just sat there are took it all. Apologizing every other moment. Admitting and acknowledging every fault and gripe that I had with her. And this went on and on until I ran out of things to say.

To be honest, I was a bit confused. This is not standard ex-girlfriend behaviour. She didn't stand up for herself once, she didn't try to justify her actions, nor did she try and shift the blame to me. And so I eventually asked, "What do you want from me? Forgiveness?".

To which she replied, "I don't want forgiveness, I just want you to feel better.".

What.

She even offered to let me do it again in the future if it would help. She agreed that her actions were selfish, that she didn't want to hurt me anymore, and was willing to do nearly anything to help me recover. Sans getting back into a relationship with me because she was already in one.

Also, she has some guilt-tripping mental roadblock. She tried to explain it to me, I still don't get it, and think it's absolute rubbish but one step at a time. She loves me but isn't in love with me as she puts it.

I don't know about you guys, but I find it hard to stay angry at someone who acknowledges their wrongdoings, goes out of their way to fix things, and openly allows me to verbally beat so that I might have a better day.

I feel a bit bad for being so harsh with her now.

We're talking more frequently now. I'm still upset with her obviously but not to the same extent as before. I won't lie, I still miss her very much. you don't spend 4.5 years with someone and suddenly lose all attraction to them.

I guess we're still friends then. We'll see where it goes from here.

My Little Rant

I'm just warning everyone beforehand that this post is going to be somewhat whiny. I've had my monthly quota of nonsense and I really don't want anymore. So if you don't enjoy hearing blog posts about people venting about their lives, ignore my post and leave a comment below about sea urchins.

Because they're delicious.

But the source of my irritation comes from people. For whatever reason I appear to be the go-to person whenever someone has issues with their life. Maybe it's because I'm getting a degree in Psychology. And you know what? Usually I don't mind.

But a friend of mine has a problem, actually, he has numerous problems. And he's kind of a drama king. Imagine if the Annoying Facebook Girl was Asian and male and bam, you have this guy.

. . . .

See, the thing about him is that it's partially not his fault, so he claims. He probably does have some form of mental or anxiety disorder that causes him to be like this. HOWEVER, this does NOT justify posting your every thought or whine on your Facebook wall. And then texting me how the girl you like doesn't like you and going into detail about your session with your psychologist.

And he exaggerates and/or lies a lot too. So I half the time I'm doubting what he says. One moment he's telling me he's going to run away to Montana, next minute he tells me that the police broke into his house because they thought he was going to commit suicide. Then he's going into detail about how smoking medicinal marijuana is awesome because it helps with his schizophrenia.

Sad thing is, half the above is true and/or happened. I'm not telling which.

But then I had another friend who was depressed and suicidal. And it's not fun, often dealing with both these people simultaneously. It's very draining especially when when one guy clearly just wants attention and the other guy refuses to seek professional help. Usually all I could do was sit, listen and offer my unprofessional opinion on what to do.

After a few weeks, 1 guy is better (I hope), and the other guy is still talking about devices to enlarge his various body parts. Myself, I'm growing apathetic to people's problems.

Ugh...

Oh and to make things better Theresa is refusing to talk to me. I'm receiving her infamous cold shoulder for whatever reason. Normally I would just attribute it to stress and schoolwork but I can still see you being active on Facebook talking to other people. And even when you were really busy you'd still send me a text or instant message. Meanwhile I haven't seen her in a week and she hasn't communicated with me in days. It's clear she's avoiding me.

And you know what, fine, be that way. I'm tired of dealing with people and the apathy is spreading to other parts of my social life. Whenever you're ready to talk with me again I'll be here waiting. I'm not going to you and finding out what the problem is. I've had enough of other people's problems.

Precisely.

I'll have a post about the China trip on Sunday, including answers to a majority of the questions people asked. I just needed a post to vent about personal problems because I really don't have anywhere else to. Normally I'd talk to Theresa but I can't go to someone who currently wants nothing to do with me.