Haitus Recap: Health

My health has always been a problem for me, whether it's been my lungs or my poor sleeping habits, I've never been the pinnacle of well-being. And I guess you could consider my bodytype to be unhealthy too.

I mean, when you're used to surviving off 1 meal every 24 hours, how can you expect to look?

Like so.

But things have been getting better and I'd like to attribute it to heading to the gym. For example, I've started eating breakfast again! Yes, after over half a decade of skipping this meal I've been trying to add it back to my routine.

Because is it ever hard to get enough calories in a day with just 2 meals.

Why do I skip breakfast? Easy. Because I'd rather sleep in for another half an hour than get up to eat a bowl of cereal. Though, I guess I could just grab a banana on the go and eat that but again, the laziness of older me was too much to even do that.

Vector cereal is really good though, also lots of protein.

I've also been taking this new mass gainer. For a while I was barely able to breach 160 pounds but after a few weeks on it, I easily pushed myself to 165. The biggest problem? Despite being the best tasting mass gainer I've ever been on, it still tastes kind of gross.

I mean, how can you manage to make "chocolate" taste eggy and sour? How do you manage to turn "cookies and cream" into... Well, there are cookie bits that taste like chocolate but the cream... I don't like whatever "cream" flavour this is.

Who knows what the vanilla is like. I am so sick of vanilla, never again.

My stomach cringes at the thought.

The added benefit of this mass gainer though is that when I miss one or miss a meal is that I get hungry. I haven't felt "hungry" in ages so maybe this is my body finally adapting to wanting to eat more? That's a good thing right?

My sleep schedule hasn't really improved though. I'm still tired most of the time though whether it's from poor sleep during the night or the workouts is hard to say. Fortunately I have an appointment in July where I'm going to begin the process of booking another sleep study.

Except this time I'm going to be sleeping in a lab with a ton of things hooked up to me while getting monitored.

Yay for people watching me sleep.

My lungs haven't been bothering me too much despite the increased loads I've been lifting at the gym. In fact, the only times my lung ever seem to bother me is excessive cardio. I had one temporary trainer who pushed me and I was just winded, light-headed, and actually nauseous.

No more cardio. Cardio isn't going to get me big, lifting heavy weights will.

Haitus Recap: Project Jason

Project Jason is my attempt at getting more muscle. Too long have I been a sack of organs barely held in by a thin membrane of skin. I've slowly noticed changes like my arms getting slightly bigger, clothes not fitting properly, and I say to myself, yeah, I think it's working.

And then I take a look at myself from a picture from before I started working out and THEN the differences become truly noticeable.

Those gains...

I guess it's because I see myself everyday so the changes aren't all that apparent. Hence the importance of progress pictures. I know I didn't take a picture back in August when I first started because of how embarrassed I was. But the closest thing I have is a picture from November and that was when I gained about 20 pounds.

And since November I've gained about another 15 pounds. It scares me to think of how thin I used to be. In fact, browsing various online fitness boards has lead to a startling realization. After all my hard work, I am only now considered "skinny".

Let that sink in for a moment. Almost 10 months of going to the gym has finally allowed me to be promoted to skinny.

So what was I considered before? Well, they have a lovely term for men who have noodle limbs and visible ribs: "Auschwitz mode".

Other acceptable terms include "hungry skeleton".

No matter, I'm still going to keep pushing to reach what they call "Ottermode" or the body type most associated with swimmers. For the first time ever, I'm at a healthy BMI at 165 pounds. My goal is to be around 200 pounds of muscle.

But this goal also puts me in an awkward position. Ideally, you want to be able to bench/overhead press your own body weight and squat/deadlift DOUBLE your bodyweight. Over the last few weeks I've finally been able to squat/deadlift 1 plate (45 pounds each side) and I can bench/overhead press maybe half of that.

I'm proud of myself, but I have a long way to go.

What's also funny is that I've developed somewhat noticeable pecs. And I can't stop touching them. Seriously, I'll be standing around and I'll poke them to make sure they're still there. What can I say? They're nice.

I imagine that it's similar for women when they first start developing breasts.

Ok, they're not that impressive yet, but maybe one day.

I'm still with my original trainer Eli, and things are going well. My other trainer (simply named Trainer D) finally had me lifting weight and not nitpicking over form before he disappeared. Yep. High turnover rate for trainers at that other gym.

So they slapped me with another trainer who we'll call Trainer E. He's nice, I like him but he doesn't have the technical knowledge or training that Eli or Trainer D had. I only have 2 dozen sessions left and after that, I'm just going to workout with Eli non-stop for the rest of the summer.

Haitus Recap: End of Term

Around when I disappeared back in March finals were around the corner. Normally this would be a time of stress, panic, and chaos as I scramble to deal with assignments and papers while I struggle to fit in time to study.

Not this time. I mean, firstly I only have 2 classes. Secondly, these classes don't count towards my GPA because I need to have a minimum of 3 classes a term to qualify for a full course load. So as long as I passed, that's all that mattered.

More time for League of Legends.

For those unaware, last term I was taking the last few prerequisites in an attempt to get into a Business after-degree in the following Fall semester. Economics 101 and 102 were generally dry but I was passing all my assignments and doing above class average on all the exams.

It didn't help that the assignment answers could often be found via a quick Google search, in the exact same question and answer format. I mean seriously, some of these searches yielded results as far back as 2008.

And guess what, they were almost always correct.

Finals comes along and I'm not worried at all. Well, as is my nature, I start cramming half a week in advance because I'm an idiot. You'd think with all the schooling I've had at this point I'd learn to start studying a bit earlier instead of procastinating so much.

You thought wrong.

Still, the exams went fairly well. I was particularly worried about the Econ 102 exam because I only had enough time to check over 1/3rd of my answers. Then as I was getting up I saw the girl behind me scrambling to bubble in her answers.

The student in front of me put down B for the last 30 answers.

Why.

A few weeks pass, and without a doubt I pass. Not a problem. But what's the current problem I'm having?

I won't know if I got accepted into the Business program until August.

Why?

Because the administration is lazy.

Seriously, all my friends who got in didn't get notified until August. And because they make us send in applications in March, you'd think that it wouldn't take half a year to determine if we could get in. In the administration's defense though they were getting so many applicants that they had to raise the minimum GPA from 2.1 to an astounding (wait for it)

2.3.

My GPA is above a 3.0. I think I'll be safe.

Coming out of Hiatus

After my last post about quitting Facebook I'm not sure what came over me. Maybe it wasn't just Facebook that I needed a break from, but all social media. For the first time since I started my blog, I couldn't find it in myself to keep typing. Little achievements and what not had occurred, "interesting" and "note-worthy" things came to my attention, but I stayed silent.

Or we can pretend I went temporarily blind and couldn't type.

But I'm back. Thank you to everyone who left comments wondering where I went to. It's nice to know that I was missed. It says something when more people via Blogger wonder where I went compared to Facebook. Seriously, only 2 people wondered what happened to my Facebook account.

Maybe I should have more of a presence.

Or do more horrible things.

But yes, stories. How the end of the term went, my non-stop workouts, my hunt for a job, plans for the future, and my cousin's upcoming wedding. All our family is coming to visit us and we haven't seen some of them in over a decade. This should be fun.

It's good to be back. Posting schedule is back to every third day. Can't wait to jump around and see what everyone else has been up to.

Goodbye Facebook

I've had Facebook since High school and my usage of it hasn't varied much since then. It's been hard to keep in touch with certain people so it has that use, but the main purpose that I had for Facebook was that it served as an online scrapbook, a collection of stupid, silly, and bizarre images that I've found online plastered all over the place.

I watched my "Facebook Look Back Video" to confirm this, almost a decade's worth of nonsensical pictures and news posts.

Seriously, who else would share something like this?

But the other day as I was scrolling through to see what everyone else was up to I stumbled across a picture. Or rather, a series of pictures.

Of my ex, Theresa and her current boyfriend.

I should be over her, I shouldn't care what she's up to, or who's she's seeing. I should be happy for her, and they certainly looked so happy together. Meanwhile I'm in my room, in front of my computer still single, slightly bitter, and lonely almost a year and a half since our breakup. She on the other hand is about to celebrate her one year anniversary with this guy.

But it wasn't just the pictures that I saw, there were comments too. Comments made by our mutual "friends" who took her side after our breakup and encouraged her to find someone new so quickly. "You two are so cute together!" they coo and gush.

I need new friends.

I want to say that I wasn't bothered. That I shrugged my shoulders and went on to whatever it was I was doing. But I didn't. I just sat there in my chair, not upset or angry, instead I was just kind of numb. I stared and started thinking.

I began to question why I even still kept my Facebook account. It was primarily used to communicate with Theresa and our mutual circle of "friends". But we've drifted apart either due to being busy (e.g. Theresa), or because I've made an effort to shun you (e.g. everyone else).

The rest of my friends that I actually want to talk to have other means of contacting me should they find the need. Honestly, Facebook is a major distraction and I would probably be better off without it. The world can use a break from my antics, and I need a break from them.

So I disabled my Facebook account, for better or for worse.

My reasoning may sound a bit odd, or silly, but it was enough for me. A bit of a tipping point really. Will I ever go back? Maybe. Maybe if I get super buff I'll get vain as well, post a few pictures. Or if I win the lottery, or if I become the next Youtube sensation. What I'm trying to get at is that I'm going to need a pretty big reason to rejoin Facebook.

It was pretty funny actually right before I clicked "Disable Account". Facebook makes the effort of displaying pictures of your friends who are "Going to miss you!". And right at the end of the list was a photo of Theresa.

And I started to laugh. No she won't.

No she won't.

An Assortment of Things

I've been mostly silent lately due to a lack of things to talk about. Well, not so much a lack of things, but rather, a lack of significant enough things to talk about. These last few weeks have been quiet for me, what with midterms brewing around the corner again I don't really have much time for hobbies.

At least, that's what a sane and responsible student would say.

This is what I say instead.

Thanks to my brother, Brian, I've been indulging in an old vice of mine. A decade ago I used to watch a lot of anime, but by the end of High School I dropped out of it and lost interest. It just wasn't for me anymore. Plus, I took a peek at what was being released and it was meh.

But then 2013 came online.

A lot of people are hailing 2013 as a revival of sorts, a lot of stellar animes were released that were unique in terms of both art and story. I guess people were tired of having to chose between either "cute" high school girls doing "cute" things or buff guys training harder to beat up other buff guys.

Unfortunately, none of the ones that I liked this season are PG so I'm not sure I can really share them on my blog. You either get an excessive amount of violence, fan service, or both. That doesn't deter from the fact that I really liked them and they're good, but I need to keep my blog family friendly.

Does this count as family friendly? Anyone who recognizes the reference gets 100 Dogecoin.

I also used to play a lot of Starcraft 2 back in my undergrad year. I liked it, it was a challenging and stimulating game that forced you to make decisions based on what your opponent was (or wasn't) doing on the fly. Failure to do so would mean a crippling defeat in the next few minutes.

Seriously. I have had games end in 6 minutes and 30 seconds because of a minor detail I missed 6 minutes into the game. Starcraft is an unforgiving and relentless monster and that's part of the reason why I stopped playing. I started getting angry, frustrated, and I just didn't have fun anymore. Enough was enough and so I stopped.

And my brother, the bad influence that he is, has converted me to League of Legends. A game that I swore I would never touch because I hate working with teammates.

But it's fun. I'm enjoying it. Every game can turn out vastly different, there's a variety of ways to play, a variety of characters to chose from, you can make mistakes early in the game and still win, it was easy to pick up, and if you want to goof around and play a round for fun, great. Starcraft didn't let me do any of these.

Starcraft also didn't let me play as a pyromaniacal little girl and her stuffed bear.

Though these indulgences may have to taper off in the near future. Second round of midterms may be coming up and I got an invitation to start marketing again. Anyone remember me doing that? The pay is good, hours flexible, and I could always use more money.

Hopefully things warm up though. It's been frosty over here and I'd rather not be outside in minus 30 degree weather.

Vegan Dinner Disaster

Every year around our birthdays my family takes the birthday person for dinner to a restaurant of their choice. Now you can be like me and always default to sushi, you could be like my brother and never make up his mind, or you could be like my sister, adventurous and constantly trying new places.

Bree generally had good tastes. So a few weeks ago when I found out she had picked a restaurant for her birthday dinner, I naturally starved myself in preparation for what is normally an excellent meal. She declined to inform me what the name of the restaurant was, but hey, surprises are usually good.

And then we drive up to a vegan restaurant.

I STARVED MYSELF FOR THIS?!

My brother and I are horrified. We are carnivores through and through, capable of eating red meat every day without complaint. My parents are laughing uncontrollably and my sister has this massive poop-eating grin on her face.

The inside of a restaurant was basically what I'd imagine a hippie's dream establishment to be. Yoga in the basement, wooden tables that look secondhand, a tea bar filled with the words "energy", "spiritual", and "activate" plastered everywhere. Brian and I sat poker faced as we withstand another barrage of laughter from our Mother.

Meanwhile, a McDonald's taunts us from across the street. I know of a good sushi bar 2 blocks away, and one of the best cafes I know is literally beside us. And here I am, trapped in this nightmare.

I'm trying my best to be polite. The food isn't bad, but I wouldn't come here on my own volition. Everything tastes of nature, the earth, tree bark, grass.

And I hate it.

Brian is poking at his mac and "cheese". Yes, the cheese is in quotations because it was presented that way on the menu. No it didn't not taste like cheese, at least, not any cheese I've eaten in Canada before. I'm choking down some sort of salad? I'm not quite sure what I ordered, I picked what seemed the most edible.

My Dad is happy though. He's able to sample everything that everyone else is eating. It's difficult to find places to eat at with my Dad due to his vegetarian tastes but he's having a good time.

Damian sits across the table, slowly losing his mind.

I was going to pick up a 20 piece McNugget pack from McDonald's after dinner. But something in that vegan dinner didn't agree with my stomach. So for the rest of the evening I suffered with extreme gas. My mother claims it was all psychological.

I personally blame the vegan food.

Never again.