Complications

Despite December just barely starting I'm looking ahead into January and trying to prepare for things. I decided that going back to school was the best course of action simply because the available jobs I could find were fairly terrible. May as well ride out the dead of winter and maybe try again in the Spring.

But things rarely if ever go according to plan. And before we get into that, I'd like to address a few comments on the linked post.

Seriously, comments are like fan mail and it's great.

Firstly, I have a bachelor's degree in Psychology, but I decided that going for a second bachelor's degree in Business would be the next best step. Keith suggested that I go for a master's in Psychology instead simply because it looks much, much better than two bachelor degrees.

And for the most part, I agree. I'm honestly not going into Economics because of interest. So why go the business route then? I'm going in because career and job-wise, it seems a lot safer and viable than Psychology. Grab an internship, get cozy or get connections with the people there, find a job, good to go.

But it's not just that. The Universities in my province have suffered mass budget cuts, I doubt they want to take on more grad students when they're kicking out sessional professors and support staff in the Psychology department. And EVEN if this wasn't an issue, I don't have enough professors to use as references.

I didn't expect Patt to go insane. A reference letter from him would probably hurt my chances of getting into grad school.

The last I heard he's currently in Malaysia or something with his new bride.

But I was missing 2 per-requisites to get into the BCOM (Business of Commerce) program, Economics 101 and 102. And while I easily added myself to the 102 class, the 101 class was completely full. Fine, no problem. The Psychology advisers were very helpful to me in the past, so I booked an appointment with the Business advisers to see if they could do anything for me. The conversation went like this:

"Yeah, tough luck. You and hundreds of other kids are trying to get in. All you can do is sit, wait, and hope a spot opens.".

Well that's just peachy.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised due to the aforementioned budget cuts.

A week passed. An average of one spot for the class opened up each day. And I was never able to grab it on time. I needed a back-up plan, what if I didn't get into Econ 101? There really was no point in just taking Econ 102, and I couldn't take Econ 101 in the Spring or Summer because the deadline to apply for the BCOM program was in March.

So I started job hunting again.

Some you asked why I don't like manual labour. It's simple, I'm lazy. If possible, I'd rather sit on my butt all day and not move from my computer. Almost all my projects are computer or online based, with the exception of Project Jason. I assure you, I don't workout because I like it, I workout because I'm tired of being thin and looking like a malnourished child in the mirror.

Back on topic, my friend Chase, managed to hook me up with an interview with an energy company. It's not the most amazing job, I'd be cold calling, there appears to be a lot of emphasis on making sales, and my pay is directly linked to sales. Still, better than nothing.

Hello sir or madam, please buy stuff from me so I don't lose my job.

And then yesterday a spot opened up and by some miracle I managed to enroll in the course before anyone else.

Wow, that was anticlimactic.

Why couldn't all my problems be resolved in this fashion?

Looks like I'll be heading back to school in January afterall. And with all my classes crammed on Tuesday and Thursday, I get that nice 4 day weekend again. Lovely.

Probation Results

I started my job working as a dispatcher back in August, though it really does feel like I've been here forever. I've gotten used to all my coworkers and I like all of them. All of them have their own little quirks and they're pleasant to be around. I've also started to get to know some of our drivers better and for the most part I like most of them.

Note that I said most. Some are really whiny, rude, or just outright annoying.

Like the guy who asked for directions, didn't follow said directions, and then complains when lost.

But this entire time I've been on probation. In these three months I've been evaluated to see if I would be worth keeping for the long term. This would mean a raise, health benefits, bonuses, statuary holiday pay, etc. etc.. I mean, I thought I was being paid pretty well as it was, so an additional bump up from this is certainly appreciated.

And then last week, my boss pulled me over into a boardroom, we sat down and then he told me he had to let me go.

Well this is certainly a downer.

Apparently I hadn't been improving as much as they would have liked over the last month or so. My boss wasn't able to provide me with any one specific event or thing. I mean, yes I made mistakes, but I tried my best to rectify them and not repeat them in the future. Really not sure what to make of this.

A little voice in my head says that they wanted a guy to for the busy fall season and get rid of him during the dead winter season. This would coincide with my boss's claims that the timing wasn't right for me. Though, that wouldn't make much sense. Train a guy only to do a few month's work.

With that being said, they're not firing me per se. If any position opens up in the Spring for the company, they'd like me to reapply and try again. Try another 3 months probation and see where that goes. And honestly, I probably will try again if nothing else pops up from now and spring.

Because I have started job hunting again.

I know some of you may be wondering why I'd be so willing to head back to a company that just booted me out. Well, for starters, the pay was great. For a guy who just popped out fresh from University, this was phenomenal especially consider that this was just probation pay. The other jobs I've looked at so far provide much less for far more work and stress.

But my coworkers were also great. If there was an issue, they'd pull me aside and show me how to properly do something. No one was passive aggressive, rude, or stupid. And all of them were genuinely surprised that I didn't make the probation. I made an effort to say goodbye to as many as I could before I left the office. I'm going to miss them, they were good people.

I'm also considering maybe heading back to University just for a single term. Maybe get working on a second degree. I'd rather not though, because my debt is still in the thousands. No need to increase it any further.

Which brings me to my next point. If there's anything being jobless has done to me, it's give me A LOT of free time. I guess I can start reliably blogging again as well as working on certain projects. Though, being jobless means I have to carefully budget my money again. Which sucks.

Also probably a good thing that I didn't quit my fast food job. I'll probably try and snatch as many shifts there as I can until I can get something full-time again or head back to classes.

I'm really disappointed though. I fully expected to get through my probation period with no problems.

Job Hunt Conclusion

I was provided with this neat little guide from onlinecolleges.net. It's a chose your own adventure sort of thing but unfortunately, it seems to be geared towards American Universities. So I'm not sure how much they apply to a student in Canada. Still, it's an interesting thing to consider.

The path I took was pretty much what I've been trying to do. Find a full-time job, work for a little bit, then try and go back to grad school once I had saved up some money, paid of debt, and maybe even have my company pay for some of my schooling. If anyone else wants to take a look, I've attached a link to the guide here, because I can't format it properly to fit in this post.

Couldn't get it to fit, sorry.

I've spent the entire summer hunting for full-time employment. I wanted to pay off some debt, save some money and wait out the giant mess with my province's University funding. If it hasn't settled by the time I paid off my debt, I'd probably have to move to a different province for my Masters or maybe switch degrees.

But that was assuming I could even find a job. Again, I've been looking since May now. Few people answered back, and I received even fewer interviews. It was looking more and more like I'd have to go back to school in the fall and work on getting a second undergraduate degree.

That being said, I did get a few interviews.

 

Not everything is terrible.

Some of you may remember my stint with that one company, the one with the terrible recruiter. Unfortunately, after several weeks of waiting, I contacted the final interviewer and he said I hadn't been selected. Disappointing, but at least I got closure.

However, he did set me up with an interview for a similar position in a nearby town an hour away from the city. I decided to give it a try, see what it would be like, and off I went. They seemed to like me, and I didn't expect to get the job, I mean, my luck hasn't been that great, why should it improve now?

And then they offered me the job.

Wut.

The first job offer I've gotten in months. Really unexpected especially considering that there were other candidates. What made it especially more daunting was that I'd have to move out to properly work at the position to cut down on travel time in addition to getting my own vehicle.

But after some quick math, I determined that it wasn't really worth it. After paying for rent, food, internet, gas, taxes, I'd be barely making any money at all. And despite how much I wanted the job, I had to decline.

And so, I began to register for courses. When suddenly I got another job interview. No big deal, except it was for a position I never applied for. With a company that never got back to me on the position I actually appled for. Still, I was willing to give it a try. The interview went like this:

Interviewer: So, psychology degree huh?

Me: Yep.

I: This job is kind of boring, do you like computers? It pays decently.

M: Yep.

I: Can you start on Monday?

M: Yep.

And that's how I got a job.

AW YEAH.

So I start my orientation on Monday. We'll see how it goes. Looks like I'll need to change part of my profile description as I am no longer a student.

I'll also have to change my sleeping patterns, not looking forward to that either.

The Job Hunts (Cont.)

It's not what you know, but who you know. This saying has been (for me at least) more and more accurate and I run around trying to find full-time work. I mean, remember the internship I recently got? A friend linked me to a website filled with internship openings and from there I applied until something stuck.

And so, when two friends forwarded me emails regarded an full-time entry-level position at some Fortune 500 company, I jumped on it immediately.

Everyone who has helped me is getting free beer.

Alright, so someone replied to email wants to have an phone interview with me. We'll call her Recruiter A. Now, I personally hate talking on the phone. If I talk to someone in person, I can read their body language, facial expressions, and make hand gestures. If I talk to someone online, I can delay my responses so to better think and give well thought-out replies.

Talking on the phone let's me do neither.

Worse yet, is that the interview was first thing in the morning. I am not a morning person, my brain doesn't officially start working until about 1PM in the day. So I hope that whatever I said to her during the interview was coherent.

And preferably intelligent.

If they liked my phone interview, I was supposed to get an email later with further instructions for a video interview and some other online application. I checked my email constantly, had my cellphone on me at all times, and this went on for a week and half of silence. I was convinced I had screwed up and began looking at courses for the fall term.

But then I get a text message from my Mother: "Someone left a message for you on Tuesday, something about an interview?".

My idiot brother actually heard the message on Tuesday. And failed to tell me because he "forgot" in his haste to go play League of Legends with his friends. 

I wanted to wring his little neck.

PLAY A REAL GAME LIKE STARCRAFT YOU BABY.

But whatever, at least they contacted me, said to call her back whenever so there wasn't any pressing deadlines. We'll call this person Recruiter B. I immediately starting calling Recruiter B every weekday at least once, and kept hitting her voicemail. So I left voice messages and hoped that something would happen.

It didn't.

Eventually I got through to Recruiter B one morning another week later. She didn't acknowledge any of my voice messages which I found odd, but fine. She then said within 15 minutes she would email me the next interview package for me to do. And if there were any problems, just call her.

6 hours later nothing. Calling her that afternoon also directed me to her voicemail. I started wanting to wring her neck as well.

HOW ARE YOU THE SENIOR RECRUITER?!

Fine, next morning I call and shockingly get to her. She acts surprised that I didn't get the email but promises to send it again. I have my doubts but whatever. But here's where it gets awesome. I get a call from Recruiter A. And she wants to know why I haven't done any of the online applications yet. Her superiors really want to get that video interview from me.

And so a few minutes later after I explain my situation with Recruiter B, Recruiter A must have done something, because the online application package was in my inbox the next time I checked. I finished those quickly.

The video interview I received the next day. Basically, I have a bunch of pre-recorded questions thrown at me, and I sit in front of a webcam and I give a response. It's certainly different, I've never done one before but I think it went ok? My hair certainly looked poofier than I would have liked.

I hope I looked presentable.

So now I'm on standby. If they liked what they saw I'll be hearing from them ideally on Monday. If they don't like what they saw, I'll also probably hear from them on Monday. Fingers crossed.

And the strangest thing happened while I was working at my fast food job too. A managed to get talking to a customer and she asked me how long I worked there for. I told her "way too long" and that in this economy it was tough finding anything else.

She ended up taking my number, saying that her husband would get in touch with me. So, if one job doesn't work, maybe I can go with another.

Note: Thank you for all the concern regarding my ex in my last post. I assure you that when I said "I guess we're friends, and we'll see where it goes" I meant we would stay as friends. I'm not trying to sway her into getting back in a relationship with me.

The Job Hunts

It's no secret that I've been looking for more work. Despite having both my fast food and my marketing job there are still massive chunks of my day that probably could be spent doing something that is guaranteed to give me a paycheque at the end of the day.

As much as I'd love to spend more time in bed, I should be more productive. My Mother has also been really pushing for me to get another job during the day. Mentioning that X is currently hiring and really desperate for workers. Y is currently hiring, you should send a resume.

I really would not want to work at Starbucks though.

Ideally, I want to spend all my daylight hours working and nighttime hours working on my online projects. So I have been looking for other jobs, or at least things that would look good on a resume. I've been in touch with a few friends and they've directed me to various places and after throwing my resume around I finally got a response.

It wasn't much, certainly didn't pay much besides a small bursary at the end of the summer, but it would look good. An association for Parkinson's needed a researcher, or rather, someone to read through a ton of papers and see if anything important was inside.

It was like I trained for this job my entire University career.

At least I'm putting my education to good use.

I had to bus, and I hate busing. I'm also fairly certain it looks odd to bus around wearing a tie. Even worse when it's windy and your tie whips around your face in the open. But so be it, how else was I going to make it to my interview? Walk the entire way?

Actually, I missed the final bus to get my interview. Google maps said it would take 20 minutes to get there on foot. So I did the only thing I could do, I started jogging in the general direction of the building with my tie flapping about in the wind. I was late, but at least I made it.

I thought the interview went well, better than any other interviews I've done in the past few years. And a few days later, I got another email saying that they wanted me.

I actually did it, I finally got an internship of some sort.

I go back next Thursday to finalize some details and sign some papers. But it's nice to have something go in my favor. Again, I don't get paid, all I get is a small government bursary but hey, I'll take what I can get.

I'm still waiting for replies from a few other emails. There's one opportunity I really want to hear back on because it sounds like it pays well is a great for work experience. Fingers crossed for me.

Project's Update

It's that time of the month again. How productive have I been on my self-assigned projects? Let's find out:

Project Pitch:

My original proposal from January is still sitting in editorial. I can check the status of it in real time and I'm literally watching it get shuffled further and further into the back of the line, gathering dust on whatever virtual shelf it's sitting on.

So fine, maybe the editors are considering it for later, it's still there and they'll get to it, eventually, I hope. I decided to try and write up another proposal and send it in for editing. And I actually had something, all the ideas were there but I was just bored with the topic. And honestly, the ideas felt like loosely connected dots that I could barely spin in an interesting way.

Eventually I had to stop, enough was enough. It sucks to have several hours of work turn out fruitless. But the ideas are still sitting there, maybe I can re-use them in the future. In the meantime, I'm going to try and write something else up.

JUST GIVE ME FEEDBACK ALREADY.

Project Derp:

March was the best month I've seen so far for the second phase of Project Derp. Traffic improved, profits increased since I started, but it's still not enough. I'm not even halfway to the point to where I would consider it a success. I guess I still haven't fully optimized everything and I estimate that I'm going to need at least 50 hours more work on it.

Unless, unless I can figure a way to make something more efficient.

I'm not abandoning my previous work, far from it. But I'm going to try a project within a project I guess. There's a combination of apps and tools I'm trying to use to help me, including the automation tool I mentioned before. But not all of them are cooperating and it's getting a touch frustrating.

Project Cold:

I've previously talked about my relative success with Project Cold over here. Being a marketer for student painting is going well enough. I know I mentioned how I said I set my own hours for this job but in reality it's often better for me to tailor my hours for when people would be home. Meaning I generally make more money if I head out later and if I work on weekends.

Also, East Indian wives are kind of notorious for consulting their husbands for everything. I don't know how many houses I've gone to where I'll be greeted by the wife, it's clear she wants some painting done, BUT she has to get the approval of her husband first. Do their own opinions not matter or something?

It's like they're incapable of making decisions on their own.

Project Copy:

Uhhh... I've neglected this one for a long time. I have a massive backlog to catch up on and it's going to take me a long time to get back up to speed.

Oops.

Project Koi:

This was the new project that I started in March and I didn't have high hopes for it. If the statistics that I've found are correct, the average of success is about 10%. My experience with this project so far occasionally shows glimpses of something working, only to disappear quickly after. If I go an entire week without a valid reply I'm calling it quits and declaring it a failure.

Though, to be honest, I am impressed I got any responses at all but ultimately I think it'll be fruitless. At least I'll get a blog post and a good story out of it. I think I'll give it another try in the future but right now is probably not a good time.

I know when to call it quits.

Project Vegas:

This project is still on hiatus. I mentioned before how I found a loophole that I could exploit for my benefit. Unfortunately, it requires that I spend several hundred, if not thousands of dollars within a set time limit. Clearly, I cannot do it just yet, well, not without going further into debt and requiring my parents to bail me out.

Which is exactly why I am pushing so hard for Project Derp to succeed. I can kill two birds with one stone.

Phase 3 of Project Derp could not only allow me to spend and pay off that amount on my own, but also give me a sizable profit on the side. The amount of work is minimal but it requires all the knowledge and groundwork laid out by phase 2.

I've done the research, the math, studied the risks and individuals who have come before me to ensure that I'm not running towards some fool's errand. I see the potential, I just need a bit of luck and some more work.

And more sleepless nights fueled by caffeine.

Finals are approaching soon, and then summer. As much as I love all my projects I honestly would like an upgrade from my fast food job. Because if I can have my projects work AND do a 9-5 job it's like earning double the income. Additional budget cuts in the city mean things are going to be harder but a job fair in the coming weeks may have something of interest.

We'll see how things go.

200 Posts

Wow. That's all I really have to say is wow. 200 posts. I honestly can't believe I've been blogging for this long, it feels a lot shorter than that. I should feel happy or proud of this accomplishment but I'm really not. I wish I could be happier, but all I have to do is look back on my first post.

Things have stagnated for me at best, or gone downhill at worst since then. Yes this is going to be another ranting post and it's a lot longer than usual. You've been warned.

Let me explain for anyone who hasn't followed me since day one. When I started this blog I wasn't exactly thrilled with where I was going. I had a year or so left until my degree finished, the job market wasn't looking great, and prospects of future schooling honestly not looking so appealing either. Now, almost two years later, I still feel the same way, except now I have my degree.

People claim the recession is over and I don't believe that at all. When jobs for people like me start popping up maybe I'll be less skeptical. I see lawyers working at Walmart, Honor students struggling to get sales positions, or even worse no jobs at all. Unless you're in the medical field good luck getting anything and even then, there are rumors around about budget cuts and the like.

I've applied to over a dozen jobs and internships since I've entered University. Half of those got interviews, all of them rejections. So I guess I'll keep making sandwiches until I get a job somewhere else.

So fine, job market not so good, why not go back to school and ride it out? Academia isn't looking so great either, at least where I am. There are confirmed budget cuts here and it doesn't look good for anyone. Well except for the President of the University and her little group of cronies. I bet she'll give herself another raise...

And this is sort of the reason why I lost interest in getting a job in academia or research. I'm watching professors get cut on a whim, last year a prof with tenure got kicked (or something similar) over a grade dispute with a student, research funds are dropping, and is more school and work worth all this stress at the end? To add insult to injury, there was one professor who was completely useless (aka ditched her research students so she could go on an early vacation) and did nothing. She won a teaching award recently because of she supported cuts to various departments. Why would she support this? She retired last year.

If I could do this to her without being expelled I'd go for it.

Ok, things not looking so great at University, but at least I can bum around home for a while until things look better. Nope. Nope nope nope. My father has for years been trying to get me out of the house. Even before I turned 18 the notion of me "moving out" has never been far from his mind. And ever since I turned 20, I noticed his campaign has been slowly getting more aggressive. I turn 23 this year and I can only imagine how bad it'll get if I'm still around when I'm older.

And it's over stupid things like me deciding to take a nap during the middle of the day or having a messy room during exam time. Any justification I try to use results in "Well if you don't like it, move out". He's dead serious and I'm certain that my Mother is the only person keeping him from physically throwing me out. My father knows very well that I don't have the means to support myself yet but that hasn't stopped him from constantly bringing up the subject. Note that since my brother turned 18 he's been turning his attention to Brian as well. My sister has been spared for whatever reason, so lucky her.

But at least I have support elsewhere right? Mental or moral support? Unfortunately, I've lost contact with a lot of close friends due to everyone being busy but at least I have a girlfriend I could talk to. Well I did, until my now ex-girlfriend decided to dump me earlier this year. We decided to stay friends, except everything she says and does makes it look like she's still interested in having a relationship. I said I moved on and I did, until she started playing with the fragments of my heart.

I don't care if she's unintentionally doing it, it's still tearing me apart and driving me insane. She's not normally a flirty person, she doesn't flirt with anyone else EXCEPT for me. When we meet up in person for coffee or something, she performs tons of physical gestures that suggest she has the intention of intimacy. And I think my female readers can back me up on this. When seated, would you touch/grab the inner thigh of a person you weren't interested in? How about their forearm? What about grabbing and holding their arm while walking? What about making questionable innuendos? A combination of these and much, much more? Either I'm a terrible psychologist and I read too much into small details OR something is not quite right here.

Of course when confronted she tells me she's still not interested and apologizes. And then she wonders why I keep asking "Do you want to get back together?". You, are becoming a doctor Theresa. You, are NOT some idiotic high school girl with the mentality of a handicapped dog. She apparently misses me and "us" BUT not enough to get back together.

I was willing to work things out. She wasn't. And it still bothers me a lot. I made a ton of sacrifices and compromises to make things work. I wasn't perfect, but I was more than happy to change things or myself to maintain the relationship. I know I discussed why we broke up in an earlier post (she wanted more time for school) but subsequent conversations with her resulted in contradictory and/or questionable reasons. The only thing that has remained consistent is she wanted to be single.

Great.

Now let's be realistic for a moment. Ideally, the best thing to do would be go out and get another girlfriend. I've been single for months, time to put myself back on the market. Except, I don't really have all that much to offer. Don't give me that "Oh you're a nice guy!" nonsense (also, I'm not). I'm a student, who is in debt, with only a part-time fast food job, with no car, who lives with his parents. These credentials basically mean that online, speed, and blind dating are out of the question.

I have a few friends who claims they'll be on the lookout for any potential girlfriends for me but I'm not holding my breath. There's a small irony here in that when I was in a relationship, nearly all my friends were single. Now that I'm single, nearly all of them have significant others.

I would be more than happy to return to a relationship with Theresa. Not out of desperation or loneliness, but because she was a fairly good girlfriend. And I was happy with her. Yeah she has her problems but so do I. I'm not perfect, and I'm not going to judge her for her faults. Except for being unwilling to change yourself for me. I think I'm allowed to judge her for that considering how much I changed myself for her.

Ok, not that dramatic, but still.

So where does that leave me? Bitter, disgruntled, and very, very unhappy. I've been pretty much miserable for the entirety of 2013 so far. If any of the above problems happened one at a time, I'm sure I could handle it, no problem. But when things start stacking up it becomes a tad overwhelming. I'm feeling a lot of pressure here and I'm not liking it. I'm running on borrowed time and it's not getting extended any time soon.

This blog post is mostly to get this all of my chest and vent a little. I think that's my favorite part about having a blog is that I can rant like this to calm myself down. In the end though, it's much better to actually find a solution. Complaining only gets you so far and it's not very productive.

And so now the question is, what your solution Damian? Do you have one? What are you going to do about all of this? And to that I respond:

Why do you think I'm working on so many projects?

There's a reason why I'm constantly brainstorming, working during my spare time, and pushing myself. Each project is a potential solution and/or will buy me more time. Wish me luck, I have a lot of work ahead of me still.