I watched my "Facebook Look Back Video" to confirm this, almost a decade's worth of nonsensical pictures and news posts.
Seriously, who else would share something like this?
But the other day as I was scrolling through to see what everyone else was up to I stumbled across a picture. Or rather, a series of pictures.
Of my ex, Theresa and her current boyfriend.
I should be over her, I shouldn't care what she's up to, or who's she's seeing. I should be happy for her, and they certainly looked so happy together. Meanwhile I'm in my room, in front of my computer still single, slightly bitter, and lonely almost a year and a half since our breakup. She on the other hand is about to celebrate her one year anniversary with this guy.
But it wasn't just the pictures that I saw, there were comments too. Comments made by our mutual "friends" who took her side after our breakup and encouraged her to find someone new so quickly. "You two are so cute together!" they coo and gush.
I need new friends.
I want to say that I wasn't bothered. That I shrugged my shoulders and went on to whatever it was I was doing. But I didn't. I just sat there in my chair, not upset or angry, instead I was just kind of numb. I stared and started thinking.
I began to question why I even still kept my Facebook account. It was primarily used to communicate with Theresa and our mutual circle of "friends". But we've drifted apart either due to being busy (e.g. Theresa), or because I've made an effort to shun you (e.g. everyone else).
The rest of my friends that I actually want to talk to have other means of contacting me should they find the need. Honestly, Facebook is a major distraction and I would probably be better off without it. The world can use a break from my antics, and I need a break from them.
So I disabled my Facebook account, for better or for worse.
My reasoning may sound a bit odd, or silly, but it was enough for me. A bit of a tipping point really. Will I ever go back? Maybe. Maybe if I get super buff I'll get vain as well, post a few pictures. Or if I win the lottery, or if I become the next Youtube sensation. What I'm trying to get at is that I'm going to need a pretty big reason to rejoin Facebook.
It was pretty funny actually right before I clicked "Disable Account". Facebook makes the effort of displaying pictures of your friends who are "Going to miss you!". And right at the end of the list was a photo of Theresa.
And I started to laugh. No she won't.
No she won't.