Thursday 22 March 2012

Me not Healthy: Intestinal Adventures (Part 1)

I alluded to my potential intestinal issues back in this post. Since then I have gone for two tests in hopes to figure out what's going on with me.

And what exactly is wrong with me? Well, where do we start. Bloating and discomfort whenever my lower gut feels like it, I have not been able to eat yogurt or drink milk since High School without fear of the first problem. But the really annoying thing is my reduced appetite.

To give you an idea of how little I eat in a meal compared to when I was younger, 8-9 year-old Damian could eat 2 Big Macs, a large fries and a large drink.

21 year-old Damian can barely eat 1 Big Mac, a medium drink and half a box of medium fries.

Delicious.

Note for all these tests they ask that you don't eat anything prior to going in. The first test I went for was an ultrasound. Yes, the same test that pregnant women go for. That was fun, stripped to my underwear while a technician squirted gel on my stomach and pressed the scanner thing against me.

I couldn't see what was going on on the screen though. And before I knew it I was shooed away to my next test.

Here's a generic ultrasound picture in the meantime because I don't know what mine looked like.

Next test was a fluoroscopy. How this works is that they make you drink barium (which has the consistency of a melted milkshake and tastes like one gone bad) and then they run you through an x-ray to see where the barium goes.

Oh, and they make you eat something like pop rocks to create gas which inflates your stomach. So during the entire procedure you feel the need to burp but you can't. Otherwise your stomach deflates and they can't see anything.

Also the barium causes constipation so have fun with that.

So, all done and good, they said send my doctor the results and we'll go from there. But unless it's something serious I doubt my doctor will want to book an appointment with me.

Oh wait, less than 24 hours after I'm done the tests my doctor gives me a call.

This is lovely.

The last time he wanted an appointment with me it was because my lung collapsed.

Not this garbage again...

So we'll see where this goes, probably no where good. But hey, it makes for good blogging material I guess.

56 comments:

  1. Doesn't sound like a grand time at all, hopefully it is nothing serious. Who knows though maybe he'll tell you your having a Junior moment and you're pregnant..haha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Eek! I hope everything is okay, and they get to the bottom of it soon!

    ReplyDelete
  3. it's a good thing for your health I guess

    ReplyDelete
  4. :( I have a close friend who is allergic to pretty much everything (poultry, gluten, egg, dairy, seafood, etc.) and I always feel bad because pretty much all she can eat is fresh fruits and veggies.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Going through that sucked, I feel sorry for you. May my wishes bring you good health.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I haven't had a Big Mac in a long, long while.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ultra sound tests are really cool. The most fascinating way they're used (in my opinion) is on your veins. You can see the speed at which your blood flows - and... hmmmm wait... I think maybe I'll save this for a post. It's really interesting...

    Hope everything turns out ok with that doctor's appointment. We'll be waiting to hear. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Happy blogging material is good blogging material. This just plain sucks. Hope they'll figure something out to help you out of all this for a change!

    ReplyDelete
  9. ugh
    you're making me further detest my upcoming doctor's visit

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love milk. I can't imagine eating my breakfast without a glass of milk. Poor you :(

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well I hope everything turns out OK. It's probably better for your sanity that you're not being kept waiting for your test results.

    Also, 2 Big Macs when you were 8? Nice going!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wasn't pleased to read about your intestines man, that stuff sounds seriously nasty and I hope you get over it and everything is fine. As soon as I read intestinal adventures in the title I cringed knowing that you wouldn't be posting something positive about your intestines, hope you're okay bro.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well here's hoping you aren't pregnant, but I think if that was it they would have told you there.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I like how your ads on the side are all for irritable bowel syndrome! Hope nothing serious is going on, my fingers are crossed!

    ReplyDelete
  15. i'm glad to see some humour through these dark experiences. i hope you get better, Damien !
    i do ultrasound to monitor my breast lumps every 6 months.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Well, let us know what the problem goes. I suffer from issues in my stomach too. I would love to have some ideas as to why.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I can't eat a whole lot compared to my younger days either. Unless I'm really hungry I can finish maybe 3/4 of a large pizza before I'm so full and wrap it up.

    ReplyDelete
  18. You are terribly unhealthy xD

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hmm, none of that is fun. Hope you get good test results.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Those are all incredibly fun tests! *insert sarcasm* Hope your doctor has some good news for you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm gonna take a gander that your intestinal problems are because of McDonald's. :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dude, you are the best boyfriend ever. Getting your girlfriend My Little Ponies when she's down just won you major brownie points. I hope her schedule improves and I'm really hoping the doctor has some good news for you! It's possible. If you had Celiacs, all you'd need to do is make a dietary change. It's difficult, but doable.

    ReplyDelete
  23. .. He's probably throwing you a surprise party or something. Sorry for ruining it >.>

    ReplyDelete
  24. Fingers crossed for you mate! I'm hoping that it's something that can be cleared up with just a few drugs and doesn't require anything drastic. If I were the praying type..... or even the religious type for that matter, I'd be praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Is it only when you eat dairy foods? Or meat?
    Sounds to me like IBS (Irritated bowel syndrome)... although I'm not a doctor, and I expect that your doctor has gone through all of this with you.
    Maybe you should keep a dairy of what you eat.
    Personally, a salad sandwich and a yoghurt is my daily intake...not enough by far, AND I don't drink tea or coffee, only water and Horlicks when I go to bed.
    Hope you feel better soon.

    http://ladyofmuse.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  26. Damien, one day, if you finish your studies of psychology, your posts will present and interesting read to you :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Fingers crossed it's nothing too drastic. And no one's body processes McDonald's well. It's all chemicals... Hope you have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  28. i remember when i was young like in my teens i ate two big macs, wolfed 'em down.
    pop rocks will mess with ya.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I hope he doesn't have bad news; but from what you said, it doesn't sound too good.

    Good luck with the appointment!

    ReplyDelete
  30. is the segment of the alimentary canal, o wait i have LBM lol

    ReplyDelete
  31. Man, all that sleep stuff, now food issues? And all of these tests - How much is your medical bill? lol. Well, good luck with that.

    ReplyDelete
  32. A lot of great keywords in there, good blogging material indeed

    ReplyDelete
  33. well, nowadays you just cant dodge the fast foods..from time to time it really doesnt metter

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh my. That's way more than I could ever handle.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Holy crap - that sucks! Hope you figure out what's going on/get better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Thank you for your comment. I'm following you now :)

    I'm sorry to hear you've been having such a rough time, I hope it all gets fixed soon and you can go back to eating lot's of big macs :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Fingers crossed you get a diagnosis...and that it's something very treatable! Keep us updated~

    ReplyDelete
  38. good luck, hope they can solve your problem. I'd be lost if I couldn't have my yogurt in the morning

    ReplyDelete
  39. Oh my god, you really sound unhealthy... But you are right, it makes interesting reading material :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. I hope everything is ok! If my dr. ever did that to me, I'd bug out! Let us know that everything is ok...and stay away from mcdonalds! It's sooo bad for you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  41. sounds awful...both the condition and their diagnostic tests. Hope they find the cause and it's not serious.

    ReplyDelete
  42. That sucks dude. I hope you feel better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Oh dear! I hope you are ok? I hope you get the results asap - better to know what's wrong so you can treat it! Take care
    x

    ReplyDelete
  44. Sorry to hear about the health issues! Will be sending good thought vibes your way :)

    ReplyDelete
  45. LOL this is my kind of post! I look justl ike the guy in the third picture after eating a few big macs

    ReplyDelete
  46. WHOA...you are a really young man to be experiencing all these issues... I am really sorry to hear about the intestinal exams they've had to run and a collapsed lung? Hang in there and I hope you feel better.

    ReplyDelete
  47. "8-9 year-old Damian could eat 2 Big Macs, a large fries and a large drink."

    I'm glad you're not eating that amount of junk food any more

    ReplyDelete
  48. You have a lot of health issues. I hope you can get rid of all this problems. I know how it is being sick all the time. Everyone hates that. :/ So... get better!

    ReplyDelete
  49. I haven't found that my appetite has decreased. In fact, I probably eat more now then when I was younger...

    ReplyDelete
  50. These types of stories are great for blogs! I had some stomach problems a few years ago, but turned out it was from an antibiotic I took for my tooth. Great story, I died laughing at the ultrasound part, where they squirt gel all over your stomach, lovely visual image!

    ReplyDelete