Project Koi: The Bachelor (Part 2)

And now onto the conclusion of Project Koi. Part 1 is over there for those who haven't read it. Basically, I'm a lonely University student who has been dumped and am now trying online dating sites. While most people I tried to contact on said sites didn't respond, today we'll take a look at those who did.

Also on an interesting note, it's always funny to find someone you know in real life. I took the time to message said person but they never replied back to me.

I guess they were just embarrassed?

Only two sites had people within my preferences: OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish. Actually to be honest, only Plenty of Fish had a decent number of "matches" (aka, more than 5). I had roughly 3 conversations going out of the ~dozen people I contacted. 1 girl didn't seem all that interested in the entire online dating idea, never updated her profile, and took weeks to reply to my messages. I wrote her off fairly quickly.

On Plenty of Fish, there's a function called "Meet Me" in which you are given pictures of users and asked if you'd be willing to meet them in person. One woman said yes to my profile and so I started a conversation with her that quickly died. I don't know what I said wrong, maybe she thought I was too boring or asked too many questions. She was willing to meet me in person but not willing to talk to me? Weirdo.

The last and final person was my best hope. She was fairly attractive, quirky, and actually responded. Well, she responded when she had internet. Apparently she could only use the WiFi from her phone from work. Our conversations were enjoyable, at least it appeared that way from my end. Then suddenly her profile disappeared. I'd like to blame finals (she claims she's also a University student) but a small part of me feels like she deleted her account because she gave up on online dating.

0/3. I was ready to throw in the towel and call it quits.

And then, someone named Cheryl messaged me.

Hello, what is this?

Someone contacting me? This was an unexpected surprise and it seemed innocent enough. Two words "You're cute". Maybe I was still feeling lonely, disheartened by all the failure I was getting. And yet here, someone had found me physically attractive enough to send me a message. I was so flattered that I messaged her back thanking her.

The conversation initially started off fairly standard. Exchange of some basic personal information, etc. etc.. Turns out she lived in a small town several hours away from the city. That immediately eliminated any chance of a date. But that was alright, I was content to talk to someone who enjoyed my company. At least someone was interested in me after all these lonely months.

But before I continue, does anyone here watch Archer? It's a great show.

Funny how the crazy secretary is also named Cheryl.

If this were a book, this would be called "foreshadowing".

The signs were small at the beginning. Little quirks that you, didn't pay much attention to. For example, after the first conversation, she said she wanted to move in with me. Or if she came up to the city, she wanted me to move in with her. Not a big deal, i took it as a joke. I humoured her and then laughed it off.

Red flag #1.

After the second conversation, she told me she was having fantasies of us getting married.

Red flag #2.

Then she started messaging me fairly frequently, asking me why I wasn't online, why wasn't I responding to her, why was I so busy? She missed me and was lonely and wanted to talk. Then she would start getting mad and passive aggressive. Remember. This, was after 2 days of us coming into contact with me.

Red flag #3.

Because I insist on having my blog worksafe I can't mention some of Cheryl's other fantasies. Needless to say I was fairly disturbed and by that point you may as well have thrown me into a pool of red flags. I am very glad that she doesn't live nearby, and has no way of moving to city anytime soon.

ABORT. ABORT.

I am also very glad that I had minimal information about myself there. I used a fake name, my profile picture has my face partially obscured, dummy email, etc. etc.. I slowly stopped responding to Cheryl (much to her dismay and confusion) in hopes that she'll eventually give up and move onto another target.

And so, I think I have to end Project Koi. It was an uh, interesting experience but ultimately a failure. Looks like I'll have to find a new girlfriend with a different method.