Monday, 6 January 2014

And we're back

Phew, it's good to be back. I've been out of commission for nearly a week now and it has not been fun. When your main computer starts up like it's running on Windows 98 and crashes 5 minutes later, you know things are bad. Fortunately, I had a friend come over and we confirmed it was due to one of my sticks of RAM being faulty and possibly an operating system issue. So I need to email a few people, get some new hardware, and reformat everything.

But at least I'm back! I've missed all of you. Most of my friends in real-life don't understand what it's like having Internet companions and I sort of pity them. They don't know what they're missing out on. I can't wait to jump around and see what you guys have been up to since my computer went haywire.

But it's also the new year. And just like last year, instead of resolutions, I'm submitting my projects again. We dropped/added some, completed others, and are still working on the rest. With Project Vegas a (mild) success, we need to replace it with something, but what? Let's get to the list.

Warning, this is a long post, I've been gone a while, and I have a lot to share.

Oh and I hope everyone had a good new years eve with lots of alcohol.

Project Derp:

Goal: $$$$

The longest ongoing project I have. And one of the first ones I pitched back in 2013. Some of you are probably wondering, "Damian, why is this one taking so long?". Well I'll tell you why. See, back in January of 2013 I was typing over 1000 words a day. Then that dropped to 1000 words every few days. Exams and working full-time came along and I dropped to 1000 words a month before finally bringing back up to ~1000 a week.

I have written over 40,000 words for this project. If it takes me about an hour to write 500 words I've spent 80 hours on just typing alone. This doesn't include other the other nitpicky things that have come along with this project. And honestly, I think I need at least another 10,000 to feel comfortable.

But I think it's finally paying off. October had me breaking even, and December had me making a small profit. Sure, if I had maintained the pace I had started with, I probably would have done much better, but things don't often go according to schedule do they?

I'll be talking about Project Derp in detail in the coming weeks. Or rather phase 2 of Project Derp, with hopes of eventually advancing it to phase 3. Because phase 3 is where all the money comes in.

Project Pandering:

Goal: Learn and re-learn skills.

Heh, most of the skills being learned here required me to be on my desktop. Which I have mentioned was dead for longer than I would have liked. I'll get back on them though, I did want to show progress for at least one of them come February.

I just need some more practice.

Don't want to traumatize anyone.

Project Jason:

Goal: Exercise.

I have both good and bad news to report for Project Jason. In good news, Eli has been great. I am still feeling worked out and sore after each session. I've been getting supplements from him (after doing some background research on it) and this stuff should help with muscle growth and reduce muscle fatigue with no negative side effects (if taken properly).

My biggest problem is just eating enough. I did some math, and I need to be consuming around 3000 calories and 150 grams of protein A DAY in order to be putting on muscle. I'm kind of lazy, prefer to go hungry instead of get food (also stress causes me to not want to eat) so I'm used to eating maybe half of that. So a big part of this is trying to just shove food into my face whenever possible.

In bad news, I mentioned how I was still trying to get rid of those trainer sessions. I basically bought a ton (with the intention of using them with Eli) with financing. Unfortunately, Eli has quit that gym but I'm still stuck with these sessions, and I'm still paying them off. It's getting fairly expensive and seemed a lot more manageable back when I had a full-time job.

I'm using the hours that I've already bought with a different trainer. Honestly? Not impressed. If I had this trainer at the beginning, I never would have bought those sessions. I'm spending each session working on "form" and "posture", things that could be fixed while I'm doing the work-out which is what Eli did. I'm not sore after my workouts, I'm somewhat out of breath. Whoo.

So now, it's time to get manipulative. In a series of emails trying to wiggle my way out of the sessions something caught my attention. I think I may have found the loophole needed to worm my out of this. See, losing my job, difficulty paying for the sessions, not their problem. But a single word of customer dissatisfaction? Suddenly I have their attention.

The next few weeks are going to be me being unimpressed with this trainer (which isn't hard to be honest) and then swapping him for someone else, be dissatisfied, rinse and repeat. And from what I've seen, most of these trainers? Not great. So I won't even have to fake being dissatisfied. And once I've compiled my evidence, I send a few emails, and let's hope this sways them into getting me out of this contract and having more money.

Seriously, Eli didn't spend a quarter of my sessions "warming up".

Project Raven:

Goal: ????

With Project Vegas laid to rest, it's time to bring back an old one. Who remembers the potentially unethical Project Raven? Applying for scholarships that I clearly do not qualify for BUT under "unfortunate" circumstances will still get the money.

I'm back in school. I need money. I am not above performing slightly morally questionable acts to remove debt. I know many of my readers said it was sketchy at best, and wrong at worst. But I'm still giving it a try. I'll let you guys know how it turns out.\

Project Koi:

Goal: Dating

Ohohoho, what's this? Damian back on the market so soon? So soon after some of his other disasters. Well, not really. I may have found someone with interest in pursuing a short term/casual relationship. And you know what? I'm fine with that. Dating is just like any other skill, and the longer you go without practice, the harder it becomes to get back into it.

Also, it might be fun. Get out more, spend time with someone. If I don't have an update on this come February, assume that it failed and we'll pretend like it never happened ok?

And that's it for now. I'm back in classes on Tuesday but I have MWF off. I'll have plenty of time to blog and work on projects. It's good to be back.


  1. Yey you're back!

    I love the 2nd paragraph! Yeah they don't know what they're missing ha ha.

    Oh my quite a long list of projects. I guess I need to read back as one project progress...

  2. Goddamn!! all i got to say is hw the hell can u prefer to stay hungry than have food? I am just the opposite!! GIVE ME YOUR SOUL!!!!

  3. That was a decently long post indeed. I got through it though. Hey you're trying to do non-morally-reprehensible things too so it kind of evens out. You wouldn't be the only guy who does that too. Good luck with all the projects. It sounds like outside of things going a little wrong the really important ones worked out well enough.

  4. God I wish I had to eat 3,000 calories a day. That would be awesome. I could get that done by 11 am with enough cheese. Not the point, I know.

    Welcome back!

  5. Welcome back. And you're right about some friends not understanding internet families (like the blogging community). I wouldn't trade it for anything! Well except for maybe a million bucks.

  6. It's good to see you back. Sounds like you're doing well with your projects, despite the computer setback.

  7. Sounds like 2014 is off to a promising start!

  8. Got much on the go and yeah need to eat so much to gain muscle, such a pain and it gets expensive

  9. good luck with project koi, dating is the hardest of all

  10. Glad to hear you can possibly weasel your way out of that contract. It's true, though, if all of those trainers suck and don't even leave you sore, then what's the point in paying all that money? The customer is always right. Or something like that. Use it to your advantage like a boss.

  11. But what if you happen to find a trainer you're just as satisfied with as you were with Eli? Surely you'd stick around for that, or will the money issues still be the deciding factor here?
    Welcome back!

  12. welcome back
    good that you solved your problem

  13. Happy New year and welcome back to the cyber world, looking forward to reading up on the next project update. Things will look up!

  14. Hey, project Koi might be fun! Or at least you might have some hilarious stories for this blog.

    You are one busy guy. I wish you a very happy and successful 2014!

  15. Hey this post wasn't too long. Good luck with these, I hope to see positive results in some areas come February. Updates!

  16. Happy New Year! More income for this year! :D

  17. I hope that all of the things that you desire (that are good for you) come to you.

  18. I didn't realise you were having computer issues, that sucks. Don't know where I'd be without my internet buddies either.

    Happy New Year!

  19. I love reading your posts. They are hilarious.

  20. Too many things to think about when your computer having problem. Happy New Year!

  21. Though the post is long, I actually would have liked even more detail. You peak my interest about some of these projects, but then seem kind of secretive about revealing too much about them. I guess I will have to tune into the next episode and see what develops.

  22. It's hard to spend money on a trainer if you're not feeling satisfied, even in the vest of situations.

    How cool that you're back on the dating scene! GL with that and with school. :)

  23. I wondered where you went! Good luck with your goals...hope you and this new gal click :)

  24. Hmmm...comment didn't seem to stick. Hoping it works out with this new gal :)

  25. Hi young one. Sorry I've been away so long. From what I just read it sounds like you've been as busy as I. I just got to BB today after being away 6 month. Glad to hear you're ready to get out and meet someone new. You've been on the shelf too long.

    Stay warm young one.

  26. Looks like you've been as busy as I kiddo. Glad to know you made it through the big chill and are ready to rejoin the dating world.

  27. History Lesson:
    "Hey, that Windows 98 is freaking fantastic!"
    "No, really, all you have to do is plug your phone into your car and you can make a call!"
    "My Beta VCR will never see its equal!"
    "That Madonna is HOT!!"
    "I cannot tell a lie."

  28. Hope you get out of these training sessions! That' s YOUR hard earned money wasting!

    And yay for the dating game - you sound like you're having fun and that's good!

    Welcome back and happy new year! Take care

  29. Welcome back and good luck with the projects!

  30. Welcome back!! And good luck with your projects!

  31. projects and goals are a great way to start the year. Good luck with yours'

  32. Oh man I hate it when my computer acts up. Between work and blogging, if it goes, I feel lost.