Friday, 19 August 2011

Stress Source: Peers

I discussed how my family was a source of pressure for me but they aren't the only one. In this case a big source of stress comes from the people I graduated with.

I went to a academic, nerdy high school. We were pretty small, with the student population always under 400 people. This meant that everyone knew everybody and we got along with one another for the most part.

Accurate depiction of my school.

I've tried to keep in touch with some of the them but it hasn't been easy. A lot of them are busy but many of them are too busy because of how successful they've been since we graduated.

All I have to do is look to Facebook and check up on their recent statuses. Two years into University and at least 4 of them had been accepted into medicine. This year at least another 8 of them were accepted. And who knows how many more will get in next year. If you're not going into Medicine than you're probably an Engineer. And while the Engineers have it tough for the 4 years of school they got, after that they're pretty much set for life.

The same thing applies to those in Nursing. I know 2 people who are well on their way to becoming teachers. Several of my classmates are studying abroad and you have people like my girlfriend who are in Pharmacy and also set for life once she graduates. And then there are those who want to pursue Graduate Studies like my friend Adrian. He has his name in a scientific paper already, something to do with string theory.

 I tried to read it, my brain hurt afterward.

And for those in the Arts they're doing well too. I have friends who are in graphic design or theater and they too are doing well and are happy with themselves. The Business people seem to know what they're doing and so do those that are becoming Dentists. I look all around me and see a sea of success and bright futures.

And then I look to myself and I wonder where I'm going.

A part of me expects that I should have a better sense of direction. I went to the same school as these people, experienced the same stresses and pressures and even grew up with some of them. They all know where they wanted to go and off they went while I sit here idling and fidgeting.

What to do now.

I don't have all the time or money in the world to figure out what I want to do. I can graduate and get a degree in just one more year. But what will or can I do with it? I guess I could attempt Graduate school like Adrian but my marks and accomplishments certainly aren't as impressive. I mean, the guy has scholarships and achievements going everywhere. He isn't arrogant or boastful though, the guy's a prodigy but refuses to admit it. He was doing calculus when the rest of us were struggling with algebra.

I don't want to attend my High School Reunion and be the only one not doing something with his future. It's not a pleasant or comforting thought, being in a room full of successful and happy people while I realize all I have left is a room in my parents' basement to go to.

Maybe I should keep trying for Medicine like most of classmates, but I'm having my doubts about it. Something I'll share in future blog post.

50 comments:

  1. follow your heart!
    "What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us"

    ReplyDelete
  2. go to Youtube and search for Rick Rosner, he's one of the smartest men around the world today and he has done many incredible things in his life. You would find many inspirations from this guy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can empathize with the peer pressure and the desire to be just as good because i get that too, although on a smaller scale.

    All my life, I've had this fear that one day, I'll end up being a clerk while the rest of my friends are highly paid professionals. Blargh.

    I know I'm supposed to comfort you with some cliche about going after your own heart, but that doesn't work out sometimes. Going after your own heart is only feasible IF doing that comes with a good salary. Otherwise, financial problems and all that crap will haunt you for the better part of your life.

    That being said, I'm sure someone as bright as you are can find something suitable. Good luck.

    (Depressing as this may be, it is my personal opinion that money is a more important consideration...at first. If you become a doctor or a lawyer and you are paid well, you can always quit and do what you like to do when you're older. Money gives you more options, while having an interest in something usually doesn't.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is also happening to me, but I try to ignore it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Everybody always tries to seem like they're doing better than they actually are. Most people never really know what they want to do. Don't be hard on yourself, relax, trust that you'll go places just because you know you're capable. You won't let yourself go to waste, you just need to find where you belong. Once you do it's smooth sailing. Until then I'm sure you're also making it seem like you're going by as smooth as possible, right?

    ReplyDelete
  6. maybe at this time are not you the opportunity but maybe some other day you emerges and you become someone very successful. sometimes it is just luck

    ReplyDelete
  7. Try not to worry too much about it, if you go to class reunion and can say you have enjoyed your life so far then you're doing it right.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Maybe you should take a year off and travel around the world and find your self!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I know what you're going through. I think most of us here have been through something similar. But here's the deal, I know it's hard, but you can't compare yourself like this. You are on your own path, your own journey. Some of those folks may not finish or if they do they may be miserable. You can't measure someone else's happiness. You never know.

    All you can do is focus on what you want and what makes you happy. At least that's what I've found to be true. If your happy no matter what level your at the success will follow. Just watch.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I know how you feel. I went straight from high school into studying Architecture, which I didn't complete because I hated it. Now I'm sort of starting from scratch in IT.

    Sometimes you do need to take a break and figure out what you want to do.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I definitely know how ya feel. But, just keep searching. You'll find your way eventually.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I've definitely felt this way.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I know the feeling, but I'm sure that's of little comfort.

    You'll find your way. Until then, you have a support system of followers over a hundred strong. That, to me, is impressive. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I literally had the same thing happen to me this year. All my friends graduated last year, and here I am, starting my first year of University (again).

    I felt like I didn't really have focus in life, and never really knew what I wanted to do, and couldn't understand why everyone else did. Then I read a book, "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell. Now that you've got me thinking about it, I'm going to make a post on it, in the next few days!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I can almost completely relate to you; I'm just kinda doing my degree at the moment because not finishing it would mean i've wasted 2 and a half years of studying. I'll probably just stick with psychology, not because it's my 'dream profession', but because it's just on the path I myself am currently on, and changing it would be arduous.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm going into engineering and I know it's going to be a shitload of work. Best thing is to be genuinely interested and enthusiastic in what you're doing instead of just doing for the sake of success.

    ReplyDelete
  17. whenever I'm sad I just listen to kpop and boosh, happy again. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. you know that you probably have student councilors at your University who could give you some test and talk to you and help you decide what you are best in. That could help you in choosing the right direction.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Part of my comfort of school is knowing I had one friend. Sure, a lot of people added me on Facebook from there, who I thought were my friends, but turns out they hated me, I don't know why I don't remove them, I just don't feel like doing it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I hope I don't feel like this when I go to University.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I struggled a long time out of high school trying to figure out what I wanted to do, I chose many career paths until I finally found writing.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Do a graduate entry scheme with a big company. You'll make a load of money and get a big name on your CV mate.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Recently I was on a situation similar to yours, but after some deep thinking I realized that although I hadn't achieve impressive goals as other people I know, i'm surly greatfull of achieving some other things in life that means lots more to me and the people I love.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Chin up dude! If they can do it you can do it, it just might take more time. I can definitely relate to this post, my two older brothers are successful and I'm starting uni in September on a course I'm not even sure if I'll enjoy ;/

    ReplyDelete
  25. Do something you enjoy, and not just for the hell of it...you'll end up quitting or be pissed off all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I know that feeling.

    I wish you luck.

    ReplyDelete
  27. life is like a box of chocolates!

    ReplyDelete
  28. My advice is to decide on something where you can be reasonably content that won't be too crushingly stressful and take classes for that. Something practical where you can make decent money but still have free time. Something where you won't be on call and can separate work from play. My free time is more important to me than money. But you don't want to be waiting tables or something like that forever.

    Also, you would be happier if you didn't compare yourself to them, but I know it's hard not to sometimes. The reality, in my humble opinion, is that nobody is better or worse than anyone else, and also, just because so and so is brilliant at math and is going to be a scientist or whatever does not mean they are going to be any happier than you. Happiness comes from within. I mean unless something horribly shitty is happening to you, like you're being raped by an 8-dicked walrus or something, you ultimately have the choice to be happy or unhappy. Trust me, it's true.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I am annoyed by many people at my school. But they are mostly people I never talk to. Usually random people I see often and are annoyed by the way they carry themselves or I overhear things they say and the annoy me!.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Dude, you are a blogger with over 100 followers. How many of your classmates can say that?

    ReplyDelete
  31. You can't live worrying if you measure up to others. Trust me, their facebook statii do not belie the terrible, awful lives they actually live. Just think of it as the "myspace photo," thin from one angle, mucho gorditos the other.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Just keeping pushing towards whatever you truly love and always keep an open mind. Consider this, my field that I studied (and I do mean just TORE into) was Sociology and Psychology. What I'm actually getting into and starting my actual business in is more akin to Journalism. Where the heck did that come from?

    You just have to role with it and don't let others get you too low.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I could see how some of that could be true.

    ReplyDelete
  34. It is very hard to keep up with the Joneses. Just run your race and make your own goals.

    ReplyDelete
  35. A really very interesting read! I hope you keep updating us with more info!

    ReplyDelete
  36. This is what I felt like when I was applying to grad programs. All my friends were applying to prestigious programs, and I was just hoping to be accepted into a decent program in my field. You have to run your own race, mon frère.

    ReplyDelete
  37. You should go to school... in thailand. That's my gift to you. Telling you about the wonderful universitys in frigging thailand. Were women love white people

    ReplyDelete
  38. yeah i recommend the medical beer and marijuana sources...

    ReplyDelete
  39. Someday you will find your angle and you'll do well.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I don't know that feeling, but I'm afraid of it when I graduate from university.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I know that feeling, I look back at some of the people I went to school with and it turns out some of the biggest idiots I know have the best jobs, their own homes and cars and some have their own businesses, but don't worry, some of the most interesting people I know still don't know what to do with themselves after all these years.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Ive got something to say on this but will have to come back to say it. Good post!

    ReplyDelete
  43. I've felt this way but just follow your heart whilst using your head ;)

    ReplyDelete
  44. I never had problems with peer pressure. Just do your own thing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Talk to a guidance counselor, they can help. That or really just stop caring about what other people think about you! Don't let that define what makes you happy. Do what you enjoy, and live your life! Let everyone else do the worrying :)

    ReplyDelete
  46. try to do what you want, not others

    ReplyDelete