Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Movember Shame

I'm certain that everyone is aware of the Movember campaign that's been going on for a number of years now. For anyone not aware, it's where men (and I guess women) don't shave to raise money and awareness for prostate cancer.

I think a lot of guys like it because it's a month where they can justify being lazy and not having to shave for a month. Then they can walk around with massive scraggly beards and not get odd or horrified looks from people in public.

But if you're like me, you can't grow facial hair. It just doesn't work. Asians are funny like that.

Baby smooth skin!

Ok, that's not entirely accurate. I can grow facial hair but never to the point where it would look respectable. All I get is this really gross looking peach fuzz or wisps of crap on my chin. My face hates the facial hair too because immediately I start getting zits around the hairs.

So the better solution is to just raze it as soon as anything pops up. Clear cut the entire area.

I mean, if I could grow an Asian beard I would totally go for it. Old Chinese people beards look hilarious.

I'd stroke that thing nonstop.

But I'd like to take the time to share with you a shaving story from a not so distant past. Back in Junior High, when I first started getting my first actual clumps of facial hair. I hated them. I had seen what teenagers looked like with their scraggly upper lip fur. You looked like a disgusting nerd that's what. And while I may have been a nerd, I was determined not to look disgusting.

I really didn't want to go around using my Dad's electrical razor, that's just weird. But my parents however were unsympathetic to my woes. They laughed when I asked for my first razor, questioning the whereabouts of my so-called "hair".

It could have been that I was just really paranoid about the hair and there wasn't much, but it didn't matter. It bothered me a lot. And so I got crafty, and a few weeks later I asked my parents for...

Wait for it.

A set of tweezers.

Yep. Parents wouldn't get me a razor so I asked for tweezers.

I literally spent years with these tweezers ripping out any and every offending follicle on my face. Of course it hurt, but it the pain was worth it so that I wouldn't look like a disgusting mess incapable of growing a proper beard. Looking back, I'm probably a lot more vain than most guys.

A lot of people questioned my ability to grow facial hair, a lot of guys seem to display theirs with pride. Not me. Eventually they assumed I was just meticulously shaving it all off, almost no one knows my tweezer secret.

Maybe if I could grow a goatee overnight I'd do it but the inbetween process is really gross.

I'd love to be able to walk around with one of these.

Many years of plucking later I finally got around to getting a razor. I can confirm it's a lot more efficient and a lot less painful.

The tweezers now sit somewhere in my bathroom unused and gathering dust. And they'll probably continue to sit like that.

Unless my razor dies or something.

Yeah, I'm going to go charge it up now.


  1. Or you become obsessive about your eyebrows and start tweezing them. I can't grow facial hair either. I was 19 before I finally shaved for the first time I went without shaving for a few months even and there wasn't much there still. I looked how I imagine most people who don't shave for a few days looked. I would love a beard though, just to stroke it.

  2. I'm with you on this Movember business Damien, it's been going woefully for me man. 14 days in and all I have is basic peach fuzz, it's so embarrassing that I'm going to have to shave very soon, it just doesn't look right and the longer it stays there the worse it's going to look. I love that you used tweezers to shave, my mum and dad were fairly unsympathetic too so I can definitely relate to you, I wish I could grow decent facial hair as well.

  3. You can't grow a beard? How I envy you, if I don't shave at least every 3 days I grow a pretty epic neckbeard

  4. Can see why a razor is alot less painful haha, lucky you, I wish I didn't have much of the crap grow on my face.

  5. Lol oh man I can just picture you in front of the mirror tweezing each piece of hair that invades your face. That is such an amusing thought. Was this often something you did that held up a night out or was this solely on your own time cloaked in the dark of the night?

  6. Ha! Tweezers. That is commitment.

  7. Try to grow a mustache/beard again when you are middle-aged. Sometimes the passage of time helps, young grasshopper.

  8. Ha love the tweezers story. Women do that with stray facial hair. I think Movember is great but I generally prefer a clean shaven man.

  9. Dude.. that's terrible. I can just imagine tweezers for every other.. wait. Your parents were actually fine with getting you tweezers? What's the deal here?!

  10. every months would be movember for me if I didn't have to shave for work.

  11. I've got the same 'problem.' Luckily I'm not into beards, so it's a blessing in disguise.

  12. My kids like to change their looks by sometimes growing beards and sometimes shaving. I only learned this month about no shave November.

  13. "shaving" with tweezers? Dude what the hell, you could've just picked a sharp knife from the kitchen, applied some shaving cream, and scrape the thing across your face.

    I myself am doing the Movember thing. Not sure how it'll turn out, but my facial hair grows extremely slowly so it can't be that bad, right?

  14. So I am totally not going to tell Mr. RK about Movember because he takes any excuse not to shave anyhow...and good move on not trying the goatee. I have a friend who doesn't have the hair connect and just let it grow, and it looks a bit odd.

  15. I've never really been into facial hair. A few guys get away with it, but for most it just seems to add about 10 years onto their age.

  16. I can grow decent facial hair but I usually shave every few days

  17. Ye Gods that sounds painful indeed. However I applaud your decision to be hair free. There's not much worse than seeing a thin, heinous beard or mustache on someone who shouldn't have one.

    And it's even worse on men.

  18. You had the dustache ^_^
    I never heard of Movember, but I think it should be a yearlong thing. I do enjoy beards....


  19. Hello, and thank you for your comment on my blog! :) Ad, yes, the authentic Fabergé eggs are extremely expensive! A man called Viktor Vekselberg bought nine of these eggs for almost 100 million USD in 2004! And today they're probably even more expensive. The Russians don't want to let go of the eggs that have finally returned to their home country. So if you find one of the missing ones in a box on you attic, you'll be able to live comfortably for the rest of your life! :D xx

  20. I have a beard, and wouldn't dare to be without one. So, lets keep it growing.

  21. Tweeze ring your whole face? Ouch! I have a hard enough time getting up the nerve to do my eyebrows ... although in my defence I do have very fuzzy eyebrows.

  22. never what Movember meant, thanks for explaining, Damien.

    And the story is hilarious :) I wish I didn't have as much as facial and body hair as I do :( I need me some Asian genes....

  23. I think a lot of men are envious with Asian men not having a lot of hair - saves them time on shaving and all (Asian woman here).

    Hi again and I'm Balut from theluckyblog.info. If you get bored reading from my other blog, you may want to check from here. I put your blog in "my link to the world" as my link to Canada :)