Why Medical School Might Not be the Best

I think almost everyone is aware of the stereotype that all Asians are forced to be become doctors or risk being shunned by their families forever. Fortunately, my parents aren't batshit crazy and actually respect what I want to go into (whatever that'll turn out to be). But for a while, I actually wanted to go into Medical school like most of my peers. But after a while, I wasn't so sure anymore.

Well the first problem was my grades. My GPA isn't exactly the most pristine thing anymore after a terrible 3rd year. I hear that I could get into a Medical school in the Caribbean but I can't stand heat or humidity and it be extremely expensive. Like tens of thousands of dollars a year. And I didn't get a job so either parents pay (which doesn't feel right) or I get a loan (which kills me later on).

Not so appealing now, are you?

But if I were to get into Med school here in Canada, the costs aren't much better. My friend Geoff who recently got in has to pay a confirmation fee of $1000. My confirmation fee was $175. He has to pay over ten thousand a year. And it would probably be double that if he was living by himself. And no one becomes a doctor in just one year. If I'm correct, 4 years to be a General Practitioner and ~5 years for most specializations? I heard it's even more expensive in the states though so I guess I can't complain.

And there's another thing, time. From Elementary to High School that's 13 years. If I were to enter Med School that's easily another 9 years on top of the 4 years of University I've completed to get my degree. I'd be in my 30's when I'd be done, using my 20's to do more studying. I don't think that's how I want to remember spending my young adult years.

Sadly enough, this is what I mostly remember doing as a child.

Fine, let's cut that down by half a decade and just become a General Practitioner instead. It wouldn't be so bad, recent study suggests that these guys have the most job satisfaction. But another study also reveals (in just my city) that over 90% of them encounter verbal and/or physical abuse from their clients. And the stress is also ridiculous. I remember my old family doctor actually was forced to take a 3 week vacation after he suffered a nervous breakdown.

But it be ok right? Doctors make a ton of money. Yes, yes they do. Except they're usually too busy to do anything with it until they're retired. I heard of a world-renown doctor who traveled all over the world to attend conferences and give speeches. Guess who spent his money? His wife, who traveled with him and would shop while he would give his seminars.

She was probably pretty happy.

One last thing would be corruption. Yes, it exists even within Medicine. I actually only have one clear example and to be honest, it's kind of scary. There was a head surgeon around here, 20 years at a hospital who spoke out against something.

They got rid of him immediately. 20 years at a hospital and without a second thought he was gone.

I remember the complaints and articles in the paper, people being confused but it caused me to wonder. What else is happening in our hospitals that is being repressed? I'm sure that newer doctors are seeing flaws and problems in the system but they're forced to stay quiet. I mean, if even a senior doctor can be sacked so easily I'm sure they'd have no problem with anyone else.

It's ok, there are plenty more where he came from.

But you know what? If for some unlikely, insane and miraculous reason I got accepted into Med school, I'd probably take it. I know about the problems and horrors and yet I'd still freely hurl myself into this. Why? Because at least it be something. I still don't know what I'm going to do with myself after I graduate.

And the thought of any secure job opportunities is enough for me to go through all that nonsense.

A Change of Plans

Well, I finally heard back from the job interview and as it turns out, I didn't get the job.

Oh well.

They were nice about it though, and even sent me an email apologizing for not accepting me but guess what they were looking for? Someone who already had a considerable amount of experience/education for the position.

And what was my reason for going after this job? To gain experience in an area in which I had none. So obviously I'm not going to have any experience to start with. I was kind of screwed before I even applied.

Herp derp.

So I'm a bit of a bind here, I'm heading off to another year of classes, with limited funds, limited work experience and then to graduate with barely any idea of what to do with my degree. The job was to delay all of the above for a year as well as alleviate some of them but we saw how well that went.

I'm currently trying to get into either an Organic Chem or Economics course to fill up my schedule and I don't care which one I get, I can always take the other one in the winter term. As embarrassing as it is I managed to get my parents to pay for my tuition this year because I wasn't able to find a stable summer job this year either.

It's hard being a student.

So this will be kind of exciting and hectic I guess. I have even less time to figure out what to do with myself on top of attending another year of classes. For the first time in years I have to restrict myself to a budget and watch every penny I spend (normally I have a decent surplus from a summer job to spend during the school year).

So I'm just going to charge in to the next school year and hopefully work something out. Again, not sure what I can really do with just a Science degree so maybe Grad School is a possible solution? Any suggestions are welcome, I'm really open to anything other than becoming a bum.

Meredith

It's about 10 months after I find out Lisa is actually a lesbian. I had moved on long ago but it still wasn't pleasant to think about. I mean, those 2 years of waiting could have been put to better use on someone who may have returned those feelings.

Like Brandon and Byran noted, the part where I may have gone wrong was getting in touch with an old friend from way back. Who knows what they're like now, they may not be the same person as they are today. You think I would have learned but Meredith, an old friend from Junior High got in touch with me.

And again and again.

Meredith was Caucasian, even shorter than Lisa with light brown hair that extended beyond her shoulders. Pale skin with freckles and green eyes. She loved to laugh, had a fiery personality and was passionate in whatever interested her at the moment and only that moment.

At first it was idle chit-chat and "How are you/your day" sort of conversations but eventually we ended up talking about her. She wasn't going through the greatest time of her life and I was there to to listen. Whether it be family, personal, trivial problems, it didn't matter, I was there.

And eventually she confessed that she had a crush on me since Junior High, and probably still did.

Naturally I was taken a bit by surprise.

Come on, who wouldn't fall for Younger Damian?

And obviously I began to consider things. Someone else initially interested in me? This could be interesting. Maybe this could work. And eventually I asked her out and we started dating. Life was good, I was going to get out of High School soon, I had a girlfriend who was interested in me, things were looking up.

She dumped me 3 days later.

No I'm serious, I log onto MSN and she was acting strangely before finally telling me it was over. Her friends didn't approve of me (because I wasn't part of their inner circle) and she didn't think her Grandma would approve of me either simply because I was Asian. So to make things easier she just broke up with me right there.

No, no she wasn't.

I took this rejection a lot better. Simply because I was more pissed off than upset. I remember thinking to myself "Screw it! I'll be single and I'll enjoy it." And I did, but only for 4 months until Theresa became an important part of my life and well, you know the rest.

Damn it that was stupid

While I wait to hear back from my job interview I'll probably keep working at my part-time fast food job. I've been working here since high school and I don't mind it. My boss is great and is really flexible with scheduling, my coworkers (all the new ones anyways) are fun to work with and I enjoy getting free food.

But once in a while, you get stupid crap like this.

So. Mad.

So it basically went like this. We're about half an hour to close when this guy comes up and orders $2.50 worth of food and proceeds to pay with a $50. I give him $47.50 in change and he then asks for one of the $20s gets broken up into a one $10 and two $5s. So far so good.

Suddenly he asks for his $50 back and adds one $20, two $10s and four $5s and asks if I can give him five $20s back. I comply, he walks off with his food and $20s.

And when I count my till that night it's $50 short.

Replace that with a cash register and that's basically what I was doing.

Did you catch it? Did you see what he did? Fairly simple once you know how this trick works.

Suddenly he asks for his $50 back

I know some of you may be wondering how a trick like this works but it's simple:

1. Small order is paid with a large bill. This causes a lot of change to be produced and as a result, more confusing. In my case the guy asked for one of the bills to be broken up even further.
2. Upon receiving their change, the scammer will ask for his bill back, add some money to it and request the total back.
3. Most people aren't aware of this trick, or trying to be compliant workers, not paying attention to the amounts being handed out and will do as the scammer says.

And we weren't the only place hit by this guy. My sister worked at the nearby Starbucks that night and remembers a similar looking man doing something similar. They were short $40. So I wouldn't be surprised if that guy just walked all around the area and got a bunch of free food and money.

This is for you buddy.

Something similar happened before and it didn't fool me so I'm kind of pissed that it tricked me a second time. My boss however wasn't angry at all, all he said was don't let it happen again. He even refused to let me pay back the $50 that we were short. (Little things like this are why I've stayed at this job for so long).

But yeah, for anyone working a cash register, watch for these little details so you don't get screwed over like I did. It's not fun.

Lisa

Not all my attempts at a relationship have been successful like the one with Theresa. Once upon a time I was searching for that special someone. Most people aren't attracted to nerdy and kind of weird Asian guys so I didn't have any success in Junior High. Plus, I was kind of shy and socially awkward back then so even if I did get a girlfriend I probably wouldn't have known what to do.

Younger Damian in his natural habit.

That changed in High School. I managed to get in touch with an old friend from Junior High by the name of Lisa. She didn't go to the same nerd High School that I did but we ended up sharing complaints about life, school, family, etc.. And it was nice to have someone to turn to at the end of the day. Guys are supposed to suppress all their feelings and worries and have a stoic face. So when they do find someone they can confide it, it's pretty nice. And in my case, I started to develop feelings.

Lisa was half-Caucasian and half-Asian. She was significantly shorter than me, but she was still cute. I think she had short, brown hair. Maybe cropped at the time? I didn't see her as often as I would have liked due to being from different schools but we talked a lot over MSN. She wasn't above crude and stupid humor but at the same time she was able to have an intelligent and engaging conversation if you wanted. I also remember her being extremely artsy, with a love for literature and music.

I also realized that I would have to begin changing myself if I wanted to have a chance with her.

And probably my fashion sense too.

I pushed myself out of the socially awkward shell and learned to better interact and talk with people. I tried to be more outgoing and confident. I think I even tried going to the gym more often while my schedule allowed for it. I was making large improvements but it still wasn't enough for me to ask her out. I mean, I suggested and hinted a lot of things and I was making it pretty obvious that I was interested in her. In a way I sort of friendzoned myself I guess, kind of pathetic but I think it's kind of funny now.

And it would continue for about two years.

Not that I minded. I was content with where I was. I had the illusion or hope that something could someday happen and that was good enough for me. The Damian of today would have pushed for something more concrete but that's neither here or there. The following conversation would occur however and change everything.

I still remember it rather vividly. I was sitting in the basement on one of the older computers running around in Ragnarok Online, chatting with people. It was Easter Sunday and we were going to our Aunt's for Easter dinner soon. Lisa sends me to following message:

Lisa: Speaking of interesting things
L: Damian, I have something to tell you.

My heart pace quadrupled at that point. Had all my waiting paid off? No longer to be single? Despite the lack of physical contact could a relationship work? Maybe she finally picked up on one of my hints and felt the same way? I waited eagerly for her next message.

L: I'm currently seeing someone.

Sh*t.

L: It's a girl.

Double sh*t.

Two years of sitting, waiting and hoping sure did me a lot of good. She had been dating someone for the last six months and didn't bother to tell me. Didn't want to "break my heart" or "dash my hopes"? Something along those lines. I would have preferred it if she had rejected me sooner and saved me all that heartache. But I wasn't upset with her, more upset with myself for hanging on for so long. I remember going to that Easter dinner utterly depressed, everyone thought I was ill or something. I didn't tell them what actually happened.

I stayed miserable for about 6 weeks, wallowing in self pity and all that other nonsense. No one to really turn to now and confide in, it was just too awkward right? I also stopped looking for potential girlfriends.

But that didn't stop Meredith from coming after me. I'll share her story in another post.

Theresa

Thanks again for the encouragement and kind thoughts. The last post was pretty depressing again so let's talk about someone who always makes me smile, my girlfriend Theresa.

We met in High School but never really interacted with one another until our final year. This wasn't much of a surprise as our interests were rather different and so were our personalities. Obnoxious, loud and derpy Damian contrasts with quiet, polite and demure Theresa.

Wow, I'm gorgeous.

I wasn't really looking for a relationship at the time. I was pretty fed up with girls after being rejected by a lesbian and then several months later being dumped by another girl in just three days. That would change at a party. A fellow classmate had rented out a cabin by a lake and invited everyone to go. And while everyone was getting drunk, the following conversation happened between Theresa and I.

Damian: *Obnoxious comment about fellow student*
Theresa: *Eye roll and sigh of disapproval*
D: What was that for?
T: Nothing.
D: You dislike him just as much as I do, what was that for?
T: Seriously, nothing.

Oh Damian, you charmer you.

I was persistent in figuring out why she had acted so coldly to me. Could have been the alcohol in my blood, maybe I was bored but whatever the reason I ended up following her around which is really creepy in retrospect. She didn't care and eventually we started talking about life, ourselves, anything possible and found out we had a lot more in common than we first thought. I still remember standing beside her while we watched the sunrise over the lake.

Meanwhile, the rest of our classmates were puking in garbage bags or passed out so I think I did pretty well.

Awesome.

We ended up talking a lot more and decided to see what would happen if we unofficially hooked up. We were both aware that High School relationships didn't usually go well (if our friends were any indicator), had pretty bad relationships in the past and had no idea what we were getting into.

Thirteen days later I take her out for lunch and ask if she'd actually be my girlfriend.

She said yes.

And we've been happily together for 3 years and 2 months now (or if you want the creepy answer: 1172 days, 21 hours, 56 minutes and 11 seconds as of this post). 

Yeah, clearly in the creepy category

I used to be told that no one would ever want to date me (and rightfully so) but here I am, defying the odds with a beautiful, smart and funny woman who loves me back. She means the world to me and nothing warms the leftovers of my heart more than her smile.

If there is any interest I could also share the story about my two other failed attempts at a relationship. I don't mind, I actually find them kind of funny now. But that's only if my readers are interested, I don't want to bore any of you.

Stress Source: Peers

I discussed how my family was a source of pressure for me but they aren't the only one. In this case a big source of stress comes from the people I graduated with.

I went to a academic, nerdy high school. We were pretty small, with the student population always under 400 people. This meant that everyone knew everybody and we got along with one another for the most part.

Accurate depiction of my school.

I've tried to keep in touch with some of the them but it hasn't been easy. A lot of them are busy but many of them are too busy because of how successful they've been since we graduated.

All I have to do is look to Facebook and check up on their recent statuses. Two years into University and at least 4 of them had been accepted into medicine. This year at least another 8 of them were accepted. And who knows how many more will get in next year. If you're not going into Medicine than you're probably an Engineer. And while the Engineers have it tough for the 4 years of school they got, after that they're pretty much set for life.

The same thing applies to those in Nursing. I know 2 people who are well on their way to becoming teachers. Several of my classmates are studying abroad and you have people like my girlfriend who are in Pharmacy and also set for life once she graduates. And then there are those who want to pursue Graduate Studies like my friend Adrian. He has his name in a scientific paper already, something to do with string theory.

 I tried to read it, my brain hurt afterward.

And for those in the Arts they're doing well too. I have friends who are in graphic design or theater and they too are doing well and are happy with themselves. The Business people seem to know what they're doing and so do those that are becoming Dentists. I look all around me and see a sea of success and bright futures.

And then I look to myself and I wonder where I'm going.

A part of me expects that I should have a better sense of direction. I went to the same school as these people, experienced the same stresses and pressures and even grew up with some of them. They all know where they wanted to go and off they went while I sit here idling and fidgeting.

What to do now.

I don't have all the time or money in the world to figure out what I want to do. I can graduate and get a degree in just one more year. But what will or can I do with it? I guess I could attempt Graduate school like Adrian but my marks and accomplishments certainly aren't as impressive. I mean, the guy has scholarships and achievements going everywhere. He isn't arrogant or boastful though, the guy's a prodigy but refuses to admit it. He was doing calculus when the rest of us were struggling with algebra.

I don't want to attend my High School Reunion and be the only one not doing something with his future. It's not a pleasant or comforting thought, being in a room full of successful and happy people while I realize all I have left is a room in my parents' basement to go to.

Maybe I should keep trying for Medicine like most of classmates, but I'm having my doubts about it. Something I'll share in future blog post.

And now I play the waiting game

So I finally went for said interview and it went alright I think. It is about an hour, maybe an hour and fifteen minutes away from where I live but there are carpools around and I'd be more than happy to drive half the time or pay for the gas or something.

Preferably pay for the gas, I'm a terrible driver and not just because I'm Asian.

Haha! Stereotypes are funny!

Nah there are other reasons why I hate driving but I'll save that for another post.

Anyways, the Mental Health Hospital (or as I learned, used to be called the "Institution for the Insane" back in 1908) for my interview is in this dinky little town. I swear, this mental hospital is the only reason why this town is even prospering. With less than 7000 people living here there aren't any buses so even if I did move here for a year I'd either have to walk everywhere or own a vehicle.

But the hospital itself is nice, the people there are too. And I think the interview was the best one I've had so far. They mostly asked generic questions you know, "What were you do in situation X" and "What kinds of experiences do you have" etc. etc.. I had this problem in other interviews where when I got a question that stumped me I would freeze for a few seconds before sputtering out an answer.

And I probably sound like this.

But it didn't happen this time. In fact, only one bad thing was said during the entire interview process.

"We're still interviewing other people".

Derp.

Oh boy.

For those of you who read this post you'll remember that I lost all the previous jobs to other people as well. I was hoping that with this job being so far away and so close to the school term that others would not be interested, leaving me the sole applicant. I thought wrong.

I know, it's kind of stupid to get all worked up because they're interviewing other people but I've become paranoid. I mean, I was perfect for two other jobs involving around research because I have had a lot of experience in research and they still chose someone else over me.

Me and my buddy Derrick applied for the same research position and were joking around after our interview. We were saying things like "I'm going to get the job because I took more stats courses" or "No, I'm going to get it because I've done more research work".

He ended up getting the job.

I get a prize now right?

And with only one position left for this job what reason should I have to believe I'm the best candidate for it?

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself.

Maybe it's time to go fix up this horrid schedule while I still have time.

Hello, hello, what's this?

Well this was somewhat unexpected. I've been blogging for barely 2 weeks and I've already hit over 100 followers sometime last night.

Are you confused by this picture? Good. That's how I feel about my number of followers.

Well thank you to everyone who's been reading and commenting so far. It is greatly appreciated and you all have a special place in my heart. It's nice to know people are generally supportive and interested in my time of uncertainty.

So I'll keep this post short. I don't want to go on a bragging spree like "Durr durr! My blog is awesome and amazing derp!" because it really isn't and it's only doing this well so far because of people like you.

And to continue with the theme of confusion, here's a video that a friend showed me. Are all corgis like this?

Thanks again to each and everyone of you, keep being awesome.

How about something even more positive.

Guess what. I actually got an interview to one of those jobs.

I go to check my email and sitting right there at the top is an email telling me that they're interested in my application and they want an interview. This is awesome. I have this stupid grin on my face and I don't care.

Whoo hoo!

Oh crap, I have an interview to one of those jobs.

Panic! Panic! Panic! Panic!

So now it's time to flail around a bit and start trying to prepare myself as best I can for this. Remember, I've been rejected 4 times already in the last few months and it has not been good for my self esteem. I've been told numerous times that there was probably nothing I could have done. It wasn't your fault Damian, you just got unlucky or something. But you still have that little feeling of self doubt in the back of your head.

Another thing is that it turns out they've been trying to contact me for days now BUT there were problems with my phone. Ugh, another reason to hate this old thing. It was obsolete when I got it 3 years ago and I can hardly wait until my contract ends in December. This damn thing almost lost me a job.

This is what's happening to my phone come December.

The interview is on Tuesday, it's going to be at that Mental Rehabilitation Center 1 hour away. I'm trying to prepare as best I can in the meantime, learning about the place, any topic that's even remotely related to something I could be doing, etc., etc.. I think wearing a suit would be a bit much so I'll probably go with slacks, a dress shirt and a tie.

Still very anxious, remember, I need this job for money, experience, buy me time to re-evaluate my life, so I don't have to deal with my terrible current class schedule, the list goes on.

But yeah, I have another interview!

Stress Source: Family

Ok, back to stressed posts. It was nice to have something more positive but if I wasn't constantly worrying and panicking there wouldn't be this blog.

Awww, isn't that sweet? Someone wrote a book about me.

 
One of the main sources of pressure comes from my family. Now my family has always been supportive and helpful throughout my entire life but there are a lot of expectations that come from them. We have always been middle to upper-middle class so fairly well off. Plus all my relatives have been successful.

Let's take a look at some people from the previous generation shall we:

• Chemist.
• Night shift ER nurse.
• Engineer who had a hand in 5-star hotels in Hong Kong and the Hong Kong airport.
• Successful Chinese Supermarket before selling it to retire early.
• Researcher before starting a family.
• Supervisor at major electrical company.

Alright, fine, those are my elders so to speak, well let's take a look at my cousins:

• Engineer.
• Engineer with a Masters in Business.
• Accountant.
• Lawyer.

 So many Engineers...

So I'm the next one to show them what I got. And to make things better, I'm the eldest sibling in my family. I need to set a good example for my younger brother and sister too. And the pressure is really on not to fuck up. I mean, it wouldn't be that hard to get a job anywhere but it needs to be on the level that everyone else has already set. That kind of prestige. I don't want to be known as the first failure or that-cousin/nephew/grandson-who-wasn't-successful or something, can't soil the Wei family name.

Ugh.

So what can I do? My marks aren't terrible but they're not amazing (I'm hovering at around a 3.0 GPA), my job experience are meh at best, and I don't have much of a direction as of where to go. There was a time at which I wanted to become a doctor, but recently I've begun to reconsider (for reasons other than my GPA being way too low) but I'll discuss that in another blog post.

How about something less depressing?

I noticed that all the posts on my blog so far have been pretty depressing. I don't want to come across as a Karla the Complainer so how about I discuss something a bit more positive today.

Rainbows for everyone!

One thing I've been trying extremely hard to do this summer was meet up with old friends and acquaintances. Even after being out of high school for just 3 years it's scary how fast your social circle disintegrates. You don't see anyone anymore due to everyone being in different courses, faculties, Universities and even countries. And even if you're taking the same things everyone is so busy and tired and stressed that they don't want to do anything.

The only person I still consistently see is my girlfriend and that's because I push to spend every spare possible moment with her. People that I would talk to all the time now I'd see maybe, once a month? And that's because we bumped into each other while grabbing coffee. I mean, these weren't just your average friends either. I'm referring to friends that you would run to when you're panicking and stressing out, and they'd slap some sense into you. The kinds of friends you would call at 3AM in the morning to talk with because you had no one else to talk with.

And this is what we've been reduced to. Random coffee buddies who exchange small talk every few weeks due to happy coincidences.

Creepy or sweet? You decide!

It's easier for me to arrange things as I wasn't able to find a job this summer. My schedule is mostly free. But most of my other friends are either working full-time, on vacation, taking summer courses or preparing for the MCAT/LSAT/etc.. Even my girlfriend I see her maybe once a week? I still talk with her on Skype and stuff but it's just not the same. You can't replace physical human contact.

But fortunately I've been mostly successful. I got a chance to meet up with nearly everyone that I wanted to at least once. Even if it was for a quick lunch or dinner to catch up. It's nice to see what they're all up to. Physicists, doctors, investors, engineers and pharmacists, most of them aren't stuck in this stupid limbo of uncertainty like myself so I'm kind of jealous in that aspect. But at the same time, my summer has been a lot more relaxing than theirs.

And I have to push to see them now. Most people don't take the initiative to meet with their friends while they still can and then regret it when they're older. I've seen the patterns, I've listened to the stories of old people not seeing one another for years upon years, except at funerals. I have trouble getting in touch now, I can only imagine how bad it'll be when we graduate or get real jobs.

Or maybe I'm being too pessimistic.

So I make the effort, while I'm still young and we're relatively free. Because I fear that soon, I probably won't see them unless I accidentally bump into them in line at a Starbuck's downtown.

Registering for fall courses

Wow, the comments I've been getting have been so supportive and helpful. The internet is supposed to be filled with rude individuals and yet, here you guys are, defying the norm. (With the exception of a few spambots). Thank you to everyone who has commented, I don't mind if they're long I still read them, don't worry. Good luck to the fellow job hunters, we need it.

<3 you guys.

But, I have to face to possibility of not being able to find a job. Which means I'll be heading back to classes in the fall and I should probably finish registering for my courses as soon as possible.

Part of the problem is that I'm running out of courses to take. Or rather, courses that still interest me and are still open. I'm mostly interested in Psychology so I'm taking a course in Research, Abnormal and maybe Developmental or Cultural Psychology. I'm also taking a Computing Science class with a friend and I'm considering retaking that Organic Chemistry course I dropped. Still got one spot open and I'm considering filling it with a course in Economics.

Look at me! Trying to be all smart and educated and stuff.

And now the problems that have arisen.

First, I can't seem to register for any of the Developmental Psychology courses. I'm not sure if it's because I've reached the limit of how many I can take or maybe my limit on Psychology courses because I don't think any Developmental Psych classes are "restricted" or "special" courses. Especially when my other Science major friends have been able to take it. It also wouldn't explain why I was able to sign up for Abnormal Psychology. The Cultural psych and Economics course is also full so I'll be watching them like a hawk for an opening.

There is an opening for the Organic Chemistry course BUT it's with the shitty prof. Obviously the good prof is taken by this point. Honestly though, I'm not too excited at the prospect of retaking that class, there was a reason why I dropped it. (I'm really stupid at chemistry).

Hurr durr atoms and molecules.

I could take other things I guess? Except I've taken a lot of sciences already, not too keen on taking more Sociology or Philosophy. My friend was also complaining about the Math and Physics department screwing up his schedule, not allowing him to sign up for open classes either. Maybe the Psychology department is having similar problems?

I'll take a look at it later. I've already paid the fee that confirms that I'll be attending the University in the fall. But if I manage to get either of those jobs I'll cancel all my courses and go work for a year.

And I would be more than happy with that. I won't have any of these stupid scheduling problems and issues.

Finding a job?

Thanks for all the encouraging comments so far, it's nice to know I'm not alone. I don't have much experience blogging so I wasn't too sure about the response I was going to get but hey, I might as well try.

I know what I'm doing, I think.

One of the things I've been trying to do is find a decent job. I mean, I've had a fast food one for a while now but it doesn't look that great on a resume. Plus, if I could get a good job and maybe take a year off and just work it be a nice break from studying. I would get valuable job experience and maybe even a reference. And it would be nice to actually make some money instead of constantly being poor from buying textbooks and paying tuition.

But that's part of the problem. I've been trying for the last 5 months and I haven't gotten anything yet.

Hurr durr.

It certainly isn't from lack of trying. I've sent in a resume, cover letter, etc., etc. to eight different places, managed to snag interviews for four of those places and got rejected by all four of them. Something about finding someone most qualified or a better fit for the job. Well what did you expect? I'm a University student with minimal real work experience.

I still have a little ray of hope however, I found two more jobs that somewhat appeal to me. They're both hospital kind of work, one with seniors and the other deals with the mentally disabled and I'd be alright with either one because I certainly can't afford to be picky.

There are just a few problems though. Like, if I fail to get either job by the end of August I'll be just heading off to another year of University, and because I couldn't get a summer job I'm kind of low on money and will probably need my parents to pay for my tuition for now. And that both these jobs are about an hour drive away, and I applied for them about a week ago and I still haven't heard back from either one.

Come on...

Yeah, I'm still a bit bitter about not landing the job as a lawyer's assistant, that payed well, was close to home, and potentially offered me part-time hours when I decided to head back to classes.... But what can you do? I'll take what I can get it. It be nice to have a bit of a breather and re-evaluate my bearings in life.

ASSUMING I ever hear back from either of those guys.

The first post that no one ever reads

They say when you're going through a confusing, troubling or "interesting" time in your life you should write about it. Writing allows you to get things off your chest, relieves you of that stress so you don't end up relieving that stress by stabbing everyone at the local supermarket.

My name is Damian. I've just finished my third year of University and I have no idea where I'm going with my life. I don't know what I'm going to do with this Science degree or what awaits me when I finally graduate. For all I know, I could be on the brink of failure. Eternal joblessness and living in my parent's basement until they kick me out.

I'd rather die in a car accident than become like this.

I know I can't be the only one stuck in this purgatory, there must be other people who have experienced or are currently experiencing the same things I am. Maybe I'm being too pessimistic, but I find it's better to expect the worst only to be proven wrong.

So come with me, as I share my story. And hopefully, it won't end with me going on a rampage at the nearest Superstore.

 It would make for a good blog post though.